


Dear Future Me...

by AvalonBell



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2012 Phan, 2012!dan, 2012!phil, 2012X2015 Phan, 2012X2016, 2012X2016 Phan, 2012x2015, 2015!Dan, 2015!Phil, 2016 Phan, 2016!Dan, 2016!phil, M/M, Phan - Freeform, Phanfiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-26
Updated: 2016-03-07
Packaged: 2018-05-16 07:35:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 32,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5819815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AvalonBell/pseuds/AvalonBell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Its July 28th, 2012 and Dan has gotten into one of the worst regretable fights of his life with his flatmate Phil. The arguement is all of his fault but in his defense he’s just confused and scared of what will happen in the future. He barely knows who he is so you cant be mad at him right? Dan soon will figure out just how wrong his assumptions are when he makes a wish that will send him on a journey to the year of 2016.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Rude Awakening

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Hello! So I have decided to make a 2012X2016 Phan! fanfiction chaptered story. I’ve never written a chaptered story for dnp so I apologize if this series is shit but this is what happens when you given a teenager who loves dnp and writing a computer. I apologize that the first chapter is kind of short I have the second chapter completed already and It’s a bit longer but if you enjoy this I would love to know. Anyways, sorry for my long anuthors note, I hope you like the first chapter:D!

2012!Dan-

 

My eyes drift open and I'm greeted by my classic room, but something wasn’t right. It felt off for some reason. I sit up, stretching and rubbing my eyes open. My room was a bit rearranged but that's all I could tell was different. Some stuff was new to me, others old just in a different place. I figured this could all just be some stupid attempt of a prank Phil was trying to do so I just get out of bed and get changed. My wardrobe seemed a little different and that's when I seemed to realize my room wasn't the only thing that had changed a bit. 

 

I quickly ran into the bathroom and shut the door, locking it behind me. Looking up at the mirror I see, well myself, but.. not myself at the same time. I looked older, maybe a slight bit taller and my hair was slightly shorter, my fringe had gotten a tad bit more short as well. It wasn’t much of a difference but I knew I hadn’t gotten a haircut in the past few days. I looked nearly exactly the same except a few years older than I was or.. am or something. I’m so confused with what the hell is going on. I take a deep breath and look over at myself in the mirror, my hair still wild and my chest still bare, do to the fact I ran to the bathroom before getting dressed at all.

 

“Okay, j- just calm down and stop freaking out. Phil will probably know what’s happening… hopefully.” I mumble to myself, trying to keep calm.

 

I start to straighten my hair and just get ready for the day like I normally do then quietly open the door and make a beeline for my room, not wanting phil to see me in just my boxers. I then quickly get dressed into a black shirt and some jeans. After convincing myself that it would be alright I head down into the kitchen, figuring Phil would probably be getting something to eat for breakfast.”Hey Phil, can I talk to you for a sec?” I ask, walking into the kitchen where I found the refrigerator door opening, a hand on the handle that belonged to my flatmate. 

 

“Of course, what’s wrong?” He asks, standing up and closing the fridge door and placing the milk on the counter, grabbing a bowl from the cabinet, starting to make a bowl of cereal. 

 

I pause as I caught a quick glance of his face. He looked exactly the same as I left him yesterday except his hair was only SLIGHTLY different. You could see his ears just a small bit more and his face appeared as if he had gotten older since the last time I saw him. On a normal day I would ignore this but from what I could tell, today was not a normal day.”Hey, did you get a haircut or something?”

 

“What? No, the last time I got a haircut was a few weeks ago. Oh, and good morning to you too by the way.” He says with a light smile, turning his head towards me and pecking me on the cheek.

 

My face turns a bright red and I’m frozen in place, confused as to what the hell just happened. This wasn’t what we agreed on. We said we would be flatmates and nothing else, so why was he kissing me?! The entire argument we had last night was not going to be resolved with a kiss on the cheek when that’s practically the reason this conflict all started!”I… Um.. Phil, what's going on?”

 

Phil puts the milk back in the fridge then takes his bowl of cereal and I follow him as he heads into the lounge and sits down at the table.”What are you talking about? Dan, is everything alright?”

 

“I- No, everything's  not alright! You just kissed me on the cheek after what we just discussed last night! And not to mention I am so confused because Phil, I went to sleep last night with my hair a tad bit longer and looking a few years younger than I look now and you look different too! So what the fuck is happening!” I yelled, already tired of whatever the hell this sick prank must’ve been. I look over at him, my eyes burning into his face with anger, but his expression was a large mixture of things; confusion, fear, hurt, anger. 

 

“Dan… I don’t understand. We didn’t have an argument last night. I just helped you edit a gaming video and some other things then went to bed..” He answered hesitantly, his voice quiet, carefully spitting out each word as he spoke.

 

“Phil, what are you talking about?! We don’t even MAKE gaming videos so stop trying to lie to me!”

 

Phil stands up , coming closer to me, anger beginning to bubble up inside of him.”Dan, what the hell are you talking about? Firstly, I would never lie to you and second, I am starting to get really concerned about you. Do you understand where you are, your age, what YEAR it is?” He ask, only raising his voice slightly. Phil never was the kind of guy who liked to start yelling and getting into fights, especially if I was the one on the receiving end of his anger.

 

I sigh as my mind seems to just give up on me, allowing the fear that I tried to keep in since the moment I woke up come out. ”No, I don’t know where I am, or my age, or the year. Fuck, I don’t even exactly know WHO I am either. All I know is that I went to sleep after a huge argument about.. well you should know, you  **are** Phil after all! It was 2012 and I was a 21 year old Dan. Then the next thing I know I’m waking up and getting a kiss on the cheek from my own goddamn flatmate!” I collapse onto one of the chairs next to him. ”Fucking hell Phil, I’m just lost. I have no idea why I’m here since this obviously isn’t where I belong. You’re kissing me for fucks sake so this has to be some kind of alternate universe right?” I sit down at the dining room table and look up at Phil, my mind being flooded with thoughts.

 

_ ‘Who are you, did you go through the same pain me and Phil are going through now?’ _

 

_ ‘Do you even know who I am? Agh, of course you do, you fucking kissed me!’ That thought was one that brought a large question that I was fearful of just thinking about both here and in 2012..’ _

  
_ ‘What the hell  _ **_are_ ** _ we?’ _


	2. Back to Where it All Came Crashing Down

2016!Dan-

 

“Dan! H-hey Daniel, wake up!”

 

I shoot up straight at the sound of my name and the feel of a hand on my shoulder lightly shaking me. ”Huh, oh uh Phil? S-sorry what's up?” I ask casually gathering my surroundings. I was sat at my computer desk, my tabs all minimized probably due to my finger clicking the minimize button before falling asleep. I scratch the top of my head, yawning as I turn towards my raven-haired boyfriend who seemed slightly startled, and oddly I seemed to have caught a glint of shock from my response in his eyes.

 

“It’s nothing, I’m sorry I woke you up after what just happened. I just thought I’d suggest you head to bed since it’s nearly 5 and it seems to be a more comfortable sleeping spot than your desk.” He replied, scratching the back of his neck. Why was he acting so weird? And after what just happened? What is he talking about, us editing the gaming video together? What was wrong with that.

 

I stand up and he steps back, carefully making sure to give me personal space for some odd reason. I get a closer look at his face before replying, noticing his younger look and the absence of his ears do to his hair style.”Hey Phil, have you been using lotion or something? And what’s with your hair, I know you cut your hair like three weeks ago but there’s no way it could grow back that fast.”

 

He was thrown off by these questions. ”Um, no to the lotion question and I don’t know what you are talking about as for the second one. Is everything alright? I mean you’re acting kinda strange right now.”

 

“Uhh, yesss? That all depends because last I knew I was editing a gaming video with you and fell asleep on your shoulder and then next thing I know I’m woken up at my desk by you who is acting like I just blew up at you or something.” I answer, my tone apathetic, still not quite sure of exactly where I was despite standing inside of what was definitely my room.

 

Phil’s eyes widen in surprise.”Wait, wait, wait you on my shoulder?! Falling asleep? A gaming video? ACTING like you just blew up at me? I um- Dan what’re you going on about? You DID just blow up at me, we  **_literally_ ** just had a full fledge argument not even half an hour ago, are you seriously thinking that just sitting here and ignoring it and making moments up that never happened will make the problem go away?” He asks, clearly trying hard not to raise his voice much in an attempt to avoid the large yelling fest they both had just a few minutes ago.

 

I pause for a really long time, having literally nothing to say in reply to his words. What the honest fuck was he talking about? The only REAL time we had gotten into a gigantic fight was in- wait. ”Phil, you are going to think I’m insane for asking this... But what’s the date?”

 

He looks over at me as if I was crazy, which really wouldn’t come as a surprise to me if I was at the moment. ”What? Dan, isn’t that obvious? You should know since that’s such a simple answer.”

 

“Just- tell me the date please. I’m serious.” Woww, nice going me. Why am I trying to sound so intimidating? This isn’t some drama movie where I’m the bad cool kid with that fucked up but enticing back story.

 

He rolls his eyes. ”It’s July 28th.”

 

“And the year?”

 

“Seriously Dan?”

 

“Phil, just tell me the year.” I really seem to be trying for this bad ass kid vibe, huh?

 

“2012. Dan, why are you asking such a dense question?” He asks, gawking at me while holding back an eye roll.

 

“Oh my god, what? No, no, no, no, no what do you mean it’s 2012? That's not possible. So Like, you’re 25? And I- I’m 21?” I begin to just spit out weird remarks, pacing around my room in complete shock, confusion, and just fear over all. Why the hell was I here!? I was in the year where yeah, my channel may have really kicked off but by far was not the best year I could ask to go back to. ”July 28th, that means we just moved in here barely a week ago so why do I have stuff from 2016 he-” I look around the room to see there wasn’t a single thing from the time 2012 to 2016 in my room and I literally am going insane or didn’t pay attention enough to see my surroundings were quite different than the way I left them.

 

“Wait Dan, stop,” Phil puts his hand on my shoulder, stopping me from pacing,”Did you say 2016, what are you talking about?” He looks me directly in the eyes and that's when I really saw proof that I was back to that day in 2012.

 

His eyes, the ones that were normally a glowing color of a mixture of blues, greens and even a small dash of golden yellow, they were drained. Underneath his eyes were bags, from those sleepless nights I knew and always hated that he went through. They were drained of all happiness and hope. Sadness, desperation, and even a hint of anger replacing any emotions that were positive. His eyes also were a little puffy and red and as I looked down at his cheeks that were painted with tear streaks that I could tell were there only less than an hour ago. I didn’t know this just by looking at it, I knew this because I knew this exact day and I remember punching the walls to the point my knuckles were nearly raw and screaming into my pillow in anger as I heard the light sounds of sobbing in the room next to me. I knew the pain he was in now because four years ago I felt the same pain and knew the pain he felt. Four years ago probably just before I woke up at my desk I was having my very first and only blow up as I call it. I locked my door after the huge fight we got in and I refused to believe what had just come out of my mouth just 2 minutes ago. When I imagined the pain I gave him I just… I lost it, I couldn’t handle it.

  
I mentally slap myself in the face back into reality and just embrace him in a hug, forgetting his original question but still trying to answer it to the best of my ability. ”I’ll tell you what might be going on in a second. Right now, I just need to tell you I am terribly sorry for what has and will happen within the next few months. I will be a complete and total asshole and I’m not going to defend myself for it, but just believe me when I say this. On his, well my behalf I am so  **_so_ ** deeply sorry for everything Phil.” I mumble into his shoulder, tears beginning to falling and slide down my cheeks. I don’t know why I’m here, and I’m not exactly happy to be back. But I definitely have plans for what I intend to do while I’m still stuck in 2012.


	3. Figuring Out the Situation

2012!Dan-

 

“Just hang on a second. So you’re saying I’ve woken up in 2016? So I’ve traveled four years into the future?” I ask, more confused than I ever have been before. ”I don’t understand, how the hell did this even happen.  **_Why_ ** the hell did this even happen?”

 

“I-I don’t know Dan. Did anything happen in your timeline that could’ve caused this?” Phil asks, sighing. We’d been sat at the table in the lounge for the past half hour explaining what we both knew. So far the only progress that was really made was that I found out I was in 2016 and as much convincing as it took, this is not an alternate universe.

 

I hesitate to answer his question. It wasn’t that I didn’t remember what happened; the screaming, the crying, my outrageous behavior. I remembered all of it. I just felt like it wasn’t any of his business whether it was Phil in the future or not. He wasn’t MY Phil so I didn’t want to tell him a word. ”Lemme guess, July 28th. The night of the argument?” I hear him say before my thoughts can completely engulf me.

 

“W-what?! What’re you talking about? What do you mean arguement? Why do you sound so sure and confident about it anyways?” I spit, trying to act innocent although my attitude toward his cocky response was starting to come out of my mouth.

 

“Please don’t play dumb with me Dan. I know it must be somewhere near July by paying attention to what you’ve been telling me. You mentioned it was 2012 and how you don’t understand how this happened mentioning somewhere in your melt down that you had not even a month ago turned 21. Then somewhere else mentioning you and past me had not too long ago moved into this “new” flat in London. Plus, I can tell you were bouncing around the fighting part whether you were acknowledging me during your freak out fit or not, instead replacing it with either plain silence or “that thing”. I  **_am_ ** your flatmate and..,” He pauses for a short moment and seems to make a quick decision about something then continues. ”Your best friend for a total of 7 years now so I can tell when you’re hiding something easier than you can probably.” He finishes, standing up and sitting down on the sofa and placing his laptop on his lap.

 

“Okay?” I answer surprised by his reaction to figuring me out. ”So you’ve found me out, what are we going to do about it?”

 

He shrugs. ”Dan, I don’t know. I’ll tell you the truth, I remember the night of the argument but I don’t remember it word for word and I’m pretty sure something one of us wished for or hoped that night has something to do with this. So unless you want to suggest what that might be, there is nothing we  **_can_ ** do.” He replies, looking over at me questioningly.

 

I cross my arms defiantly. ”Well I’m sorry, but I’m not ready to confess anything from that night right now.”

 

He looks back at his laptop and sighs. ”Alright, it's your loss really. I hope you get used to things around here if you're sure about this.” He says nonchalantly although in his mind he was disappointed that he’d have to spend god knows how long without being able to flirt with Dan anymore and trying to keep their 2016 relationship a secret.

 

2016!Dan-

 

“So, we’re here and have currently determined this is just an entire shit storm that we have no clue will end. Guess I’ll be stuck here with you.. I’m curious, based on earlier, I’m guessing you and past me  **_aren’t_ ** dating anymore?” I ask, sitting down on the sofa beside Phil whose expression I had a hard time reading.

 

His head pricks up with curiosity.”Um.. no we settled on just being friends, like we tell our fans. We didn’t want to lie to them but um, at the same time Dan wasn’t ready to tell them y’know,” There’s an awkward pause and I nod before he continues. This entire conversation was just all cringey and awkward and not at all like me and Phil usually acted,”Can I ask you something?”

 

“Erm, sure. Hit me.”

 

“Me and you, or rather you and future Phil--us, are we still just friends? Or are we more than that if you understand what I’m asking. I know you’re probably thinking this might have some huge butterfly effect or something but I promise after all of this I won't use that knowledge to effect any upcoming choices in my life.” I could tell from his tone he was trying to sound confident, but the question was full of desperation and need for the answer, an honest one.

 

I sigh. ”Of course Phil, we’re still together, flatmates and stuff. We still live in this exact flat actually.”

 

“Okay, but are we  **_together_ ** together? Like a-- a couple?”

 

I hesitate to answer this since he was right, one slip up of information from the future and it could destroy everything I knew after 2012. But knowing this was Phil, and the fact that I could never lie or hop around answering questions from him, be it past or present, I replied honestly. ”Yes Phil, we are as happy as ever. We’re a couple and the more time goes on, the more we both get more confident in both ourselves and the relationship. Hell, in 2015 I said I was Phil trash #1 and in my most recent video I called you my youtube senpai. So far it’s an awesome year Phil, you’re gonna love it.”

 

“Wow, you sure do sound more confident in yourself and inspirational. I mean, I’m not saying my Dan isn’t, but I’m sure even you can agree he isn’t the most confident person. And especially not inspirational for the past few days.” Phil replies with a sigh, the awkwardness between us beginning to disappear.

 

I grin. ”Yeah Phil, trust me I know. God, if I could talk to any of my past selves. But I will be the first person to tell you I was a stubborn bitch in 2012 right now. I mean in my defense and fortunately for you I get better, but of course the only way I got better was with help and support from you.”

 

“Why are you even acting so closed and conserved in this time period anyways? I mean, surely my Dan knows how much I care about him and that I would do anything to help him. If it’s because of not wanting to hide our relationship from our fans then we could work that out together instead of him just trying to figure it out on his own.” He starts to raise his voice and I can tell he’s already becoming frustrated at the thought of myself being so closed and hiding things from him since I never do that normally.

 

I sigh, frowning at the thought of how much pain and confusion I caused him back then. ”I can’t talk about that Phil. I’ve been talking about the future too much already but that is a conversation  you and your Dan need to have with each other, I’m sorry,” I say then stand up and look over at the clock. ”It’s 6:15 in the morning and I’m still tired so I’m gonna head to bed, good night Phil. Hopefully I’ll get used to living in 2012 soon.” And with that I head into the bedroom, letting out a long and exhausted sigh.

 

_ ‘Holy fuck what am I gonna do?! I’m stuck in 2012 for god knows how long with a Phil I can’t even  _ **_cuddle_ ** _ with. Or maybe I can, would that fuck up time and space? Ugh, just shut the hell up Dan. This is 2012 Phil you’re talking about here. The one who would probably slap you before thinking about even  _ **_hugging_ ** _ you. Plus, you’ve got your own Phil to cuddle with back in 2016 so just find a way back to that time and your fine.’ _

  
This thought plays through my head for hours as I lay in my bed in darkness in just my boxers. I thought I had a plan for what I was going to do. Just have some fun and mess around, but now I have no clue. I decide to just sleep on it and I soon let sleep take over me, hoping the next day will be somewhat eventful in a non stressful way.


	4. Secrets and Light Flirting

2012!Dan-

I sigh closing the fridge and pouring myself a glass of ribena lite as it seemed there was no sign of normal ribena in the house, but I wasn’t complaining since it was something to drink that I was familiar with. It had been nearly a week since I was in 2016 with the different Phil and things had been awkward and we both kind of just kept to ourselves. Phil has pretty much taken away my computer and electronics so I won’t find out anything about the future, which without electronics I am practically dead. The only conversations me and Phil have carried out is what we would eat and small nods and greeting to each other when we pass by. It’s annoying really and as much as I didn’t really want to find out things about the future from a Phil that isn’t mine I knew the silence had to be broken at some point.

“Phil!” I call out to him, walking into the lounge where he was. ”Hey, what’s up?” I ask as he looks up from his laptop to me questioningly.

“Um, not much, I’ve just been browsing the internet really, but I’m thinking about putting on this anime me and Dan recently finished watching since I don’t want to start anything new without him, y’know.” He replies simply as I sit down at the table.

I could tell he was trying to figure out my purpose, why I was talking to him after days of purposely trying to avoid even small talk. But he won’t figure me out since *I* didn’t really know what my exact purpose was. “That's cool, what anime is it?”

“Blue Exorcist. Him and I literally finished it like a week before you both switched. It’s about this boy named Rin Okumura who is the actual spawn of satan, so he’s half human half demon. When he grows up he is determined to become an exorcist and prove that he won’t harm anyone basically. There’s a lot of twist and turns in it but it’s pretty awesome so I don’t mind re-watching it. I’m kinda sad there isn’t a season 2 though, but that’s alright.”

I smile lightly at his response, reminding me of the Phil I knew, MY Phil. This was how we should act around each other, not acting like we live in our own place and don’t know each other. ‘Probably something I should’ve learned before I wished…’ I shoot the thought out of my mind quickly before I could finish it. I wasn’t going to let my mind ruin my positive mood at the moment.”That sounds interesting.” I reply simply, looking at the ground.

I look up as I hear a light laugh come out of Phil’s mouth. My cheeks turn a light red, embarrassed by whatever it was he was laughing about. ”What?! I didn’t do anything.”

His laugh turns to a chuckle as he starts to speak. ”Haha, it’s just that.. You are acting literally so awkward and around ME of all people. Future you doesn’t normally do that anymore, but it was always funny how flustered you got after some kind of weird moment between us. “

My cheeks become even hotter and I Cross my arms. ”Sh- shut up.” I answer simply.

I couldn’t tell at the time but if I looked up I would’ve noticed Phil’s cheeks were beginning to become a light pink as well. He held back the urge to make any remark about me being cute remembering that I was 2012 Dan, not his own 2016 one. He instead coughs awkwardly. ”Anyways, would you like to watch Blue Exorcist with me? It seems you’re trying to not be so introverted anyways.” He jokes, smirking over at me, ignoring his recent thought.

I lift my head up and smile over at him. ”Sure and then we can watch an anime from my time so when I get back home I can just spoil it all for past you.” I say playfully, sitting down on the sofa as Phil places his laptop on the table and went to put on Blue Exorcists.

“Haha, if you do that I can assure you past me would kill you, although you wouldn’t do that seeing that you are the one that despises spoilers. So if you think about it, I can go ahead and spoil every show you are watching at the moment as some sweet revenge.”

“Oh god, please don’t. If you don’t spoil anything for me, I won’t spoil a thing for my Phil, I promise you that.” I reply, leaning against the edge of the sofa, getting comfortable.

2016!Dan-

“God, I never thought about how tired I’d get of watching the same things over and over again.” I groan as Phil plays the next episode of SAO which to Phil was a brand new anime that had recently come out.

“Shush, you’ll just have to deal with it Dan. I mean, at least you can use the internet. My Dan probably can’t even pick up his phone.”

“Ugh, poor mee. I must be dead if I can’t go on the internet.” I groan some more, moving around the sofa unable to keep still.

I see Phil roll his eyes. ”Are you always this whiny in 2016?” He asks playfully with a grin.

I nod my head,”If it’s up to my verdict, yes. Totally,” I get closer to him and smirk. ”I am the most annoying person you know in the future..”

“Really, well I guess you didn’t change much then.” He holds back a laugh.

“Hey!” I grab the nearest pillow and hit him in the face with it. “Shut up, that is NOT true!” I laugh and continue to hit him with the pillow.

Despite his huge fit of laughter he pushes me off since at this point I’m too busy laughing to fight back.”Hahaha, Daniel stop!”

I slam my back against the couch, still biting back laughter. ”Sorry, sorry. I just had to do that,” I look over at him to see his fringe was all out of place. Without thought I bring my face and body closer to him and tuck his fringe to the side, fixing it. The entire room went dead silent in my eyes but of course the tv continued play in the background. 

It takes an awkward cough from the Phil in front of me to get me out of my frozen state.”Dan.”

I jump back to the other side of the couch.”S-sorry.” My face is hotter than ever and I stare at the cushion in front of me blankly.

I’m ready to run into my bedroom and lock myself in there until I somehow end up waking back up into 2016, blocking out everything that just happened but before I can do any of that I’m caught off guard by his reply.”N-no. It’s erm. It’s fine really.”


	5. Video Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 2016 Dan plays Portal 2 with Phil and things happen.

2016!Dan-

I knock on the door beside my room lightly,” Hey Phil, ya in here?” I ask, already knowing the answer. It had been only a day after the sofa situation and where as Phil chose to completely ignore the situation I took advantage of it. Yeah, that might be kind of mean but It’s been a week since I’ve even hugged or kissed my Phil so one could barely imagine how much I want to at least flirt with SOMEONE. At least it’s Phil I’ve decided to flirt with rather than some stranger. Every flirtatious remark I made was either looked over by Phil or ended with him just blushing furiously and either replying in a literal sense to it or changing the subject. Sure it might seem annoying to some people but seeing Phil flustered was hilarious to me, only when it was me playfully flustering him of course.

“Yeah, what’s up?” I hear him ask.

I open his door to see he was on his bed on his computer like he normally is both in 2012 and 2016, although I definitely wasn’t one to talk when it came to being on the internet all day,”I was just wondering if you wanted to play some video games. I was bored and wanted to do something with you… I thought about having a nice make out session but then I remembered it’s 2012 and so I went with my second best option.” I replied with a smirk as he sat up, closed his laptop and put it on his bed beside him.

I then leave the room and head up to the stairway that led to the third floor, knowing he’d follow behind me.”Um Dan, where are you going?”

“To the office, where the video games and stuff are, duh.”

“What are you talking about? That’s the room where we put all the leftover boxes and stuff from Manchester.”

I pause, forgetting that this wasn’t 2013, 14, 15, or 16 yet and we hadn’t turned the third floor into our office and gaming channel that had yet to exist.”Oh, yeah sorry my bad, I don’t know what I was thinking. Please, lead the way beautiful.” I say shooting him a toothy devilish grin.

I notice this time his light pink blush was replaced with a devious grin of his own as he lead me into the lounge,” Beautiful huh? What, did you run out of hot nicknames for me already Howell?” He says then walks over to the shelf where the games were,” So, there are plenty of games here, go ahead and pick your poison.”

I smile accepting the challenge he has given me then walk up close behind him nearly too close for comfort.”Let’s see… Do you have Portal 2 yet?” I ask looking down at him. Oh yeah did I mention I’m actually taller than Phil. I mean, it wasn’t by much but it was enough to be noticeable.

Phil tries clearly to ignore the nonexistent barrier between him and I and continues on the conversation.”Of course we do, that came out last year in APRIL. Do you and I even still play that?”

“Well I suppose so. We played it blindfolded once for a video,” I pause then lean down putting my mouth closer to his ear,” Let’s just say there was a lot of deleted footage from that video.” I whisper, my lips lightly rubbing against the outer shell of his ear as I spoke.

I can tell he is caught off guard by the feel of my lips against his skin as I feel him shiver slightly and he clearly has a hitch in his throat before taking the case off the shelf and going over to the system and putting it in while responding,” I see… Thanks for the blindfold idea. I’ll have to try it with my Dan when he gets back.”

I let out a quiet chuckle at his response, throwing myself onto the sofa and getting comfortable.”Or maybe you should try it out with someone who has experience… And literally knows you inside and out.” I tell him as I make my goal of this gaming session clear to myself in my head. I was going to make Phil Lester’s face redder than a tomato.

I see a small form of pink blush form on his cheeks as he sat on the other side of the sofa. Despite his blush he continues the flirtatious banter,”Yeah? Well maybe I will… When my Dan comes back and everything is sorted out not only will he have experience and know me inside and out he’ll also have the sex drive which will make the blindfold adventure ten times as entertaining and not to mention ten times more the pleasure as well.” He replies, throwing me the second controller then starting the game.” I pause for a moment out of slight surprise since from what I remember both mine and 2012 Phil never really mentioned the word sex explicitly or the pleasure out right like he just had. Either way this proved to me that this war was on, and it’s ten times more fun now that Phil has joined in. I let the game and over all pointless and friendly banter go on, saving my flirtatious remarks for later in the game.

“God dammit Phil! this is only the third course of chamber 8! All you have to do is help me by placing a few portals here and there and just leave the rest to me. Surely you and past me have done this level loads of times, what’s the problem here?!” I exclaim thrashing my controler around in rage. We had been on this course and chamber for the past half hour and whatever could go wrong Phil was making it possible.|

He smiles, chuckling under his breath.”Heh, nothing It’s just funny how you can get angry over a video game. You are adorable when you're angry like this, seems like that hasn’t changed either.” Phil replies, looking over at me expecting a flirtatious remark back in reply.

My face goes red both with embarrassment and rage,”Sh- shut up!” This was not what was suppose to happen. He’s the one that should be blushing, I needed to do something to make his blush at least a little bit. I think fast and quickly move closer to him, yet again to the point where I was practically leaning on him,” That might’ve not changed but I would LOVE to show you what has.” I whisper into his ear seductively raising my eyebrows and shooting him wink.

‘That's it, he’s gotta at least blush a little bit.’ I think to myself but sadly I had forgotten that two could play at this game and at the moment Phil was dedicated to this game 100%

“Sounds like fun, maybe you can show me later tonight,” He turns to me gets close to my face to the point our lips were barely touching,” I’m sure you’d like that huh?” He then backs away and gets up from the sofa, and before leaving the lounge he turns and shoots me the some devious wink I shot him no less than a minute ago. 

I sit there frozen in place for what seemed like eternity. Did that REALLY just happen? There is no way past Phil just invited me to… do that later tonight. Of course he was just saying it to fuck with me and win the competition we had but what the actual fuck? Like I would really make an attempt to get into past Phil’s pants, let alone actually kiss him… right? I fall back onto the sofa and sigh laughing,”God Phil, still the flirty fuck I always loved.” I mumbled closing my eyes, forgetting about the game and everything else around me, my only thoughts are about Phil… not my Phil, but this one, 2012 Phil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like this so far. I have decided I'm going to be posting two chapters at ike every week or so. If you're curious as to how many chapters there might be I'm not 100% sure but I can tell you it will probably be a maximum of 20 chapters. Anyways, chapters 6 and 7 will be out sometime next week, hope everyone's enjoying the story so fare thank you all for the feed back and kudos!
> 
> P.S.  
> These chapters will be getting longer, so apologizes if they've been short lately.


	6. Starbucks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 2016 Phil and 2012 Dan head out to starbucks and Dan finally finds out the truth about his future realotionship with Phil.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ello people! Here is chapter 6 and 7 pretty much afer this one is posted. I really hope you all like it so far because I really like writing this series so far. Anyways, enjoy :)!

2012!Dan-

  


I sigh leaning back in my desk chair and groan,”Ughhhh, Phil!” I yelled looking at my door, awaiting his expected arrival.

  


Sure enough the door is cracked open slightly and Phil peaks his head in with a light smile.”Yeah Dan, is everything alright?” He asks, concern in his eyes.

  


“Yeah, just bored shitless that’s about it. What’re you up to?” I ask looking over at him, still not used to the slight physical changes in Phil such as his height, whether he had only grown like a few inches or not, I just wasn’t used to it. But at least I was just as tall as him rather than being picked on occasionally in 2012 for being only like TEN centimeters shorter than Phil. Sure it got annoying sometimes and at the time being I was always annoyed and bitchy due to the statement. I understood it was all in good fun and Phil was just trying to bring some kind of light into the relationship. Just as he brings the light to everything he possibly can.

  


Phil glances to something, or somewhere, that was out of the room.”I was actually on younow, I still am but when you called I wanted to make sure everything was alright. I know we kind of agreed we’d both stay off the internet until this was situated but I usually do a live show every week so I at least wanted to give my subscribers today, but then I promise I won’t be doing it again.” He seemed to choose his words carefully, still aware I was, well am technically, a selfish prick in 2012 and my mindset was no different now that I was in 2016.

  


I sighed in annoyance but replied with my tone calm, understanding that I didn’t want to ruin mine and Phil’s 2016 friendship as I had our 2012 one,”Alright, go on with your live show then. It’s fine, just let me know when you’re finished, I want to go out or something.” I look down at my hands which were entwined with one another.

  


“Alright, thanks Daniel. I’ll tell the people you said hi.” And with that I heard him walk back into the lounge and due to the deathly silence of my room I could hear his voice, the words muffled by the wall too much to decipher.

  


The silence left me no other choice but to open up my thoughts which was never a good thing for me. I throw myself onto my bed and close my eyes, hoping sleep would overtake me before the dark corner of my mind did. Too late I guess.

  


_ ‘Why am I here? Like why the fuck am I even on this earth. Surely the world could’ve let a much more decent human being waste it’s oxygen. Thanks to just how much of a fuck up I am I have landed myself in 2016 where I STILL live with my best friend who may or may not be my friend with benefit or something.’ _

  


I groan, taking my pillow in my hand and smashing it into my face,” Fuck me. Just shut up and sleep or something other than this,  _ PLEASE _ .” My voice was muffled due to the pillow which I was grateful for just in case Phil had somehow gotten super hearing or something like that, hell I’m sure if my soul or something switching  with my future self could happen than anything could now.

  


_ ‘What even are we in this year? Surely we aren’t together, I mean I’m not gay… I’m just  _ **_not_ ** _.’ _ I guess my mind wasn’t going to listen to me today. Of course this was something that would come up, my sexuality was the largest problem in my life at the moment. Or at least it was before this shit happened. It was the reason I am, was, whatever, this timey wimey bullshit is all so confusing, but it’s why I was so upset for the past few months. I didn’t know what I was, I liked girls, I really did but when I looked at a guy of course I felt like they were,  _ JUST  _ as attractive as a female, but that was normal right? Of course it was. But that wasn’t the issue, it wasn’t that I could love a male, it was that I WAS in love with one. It was the most obvious thing too, I never intended to fall in love with a guy on the internet who in 2009 I only admired. My aim was to get to know him, or just met him in someway, somehow like every person who is a fan of someone. But soon meeting and getting to know him turned into living and falling in love with him. Phil and I **,** well there was something there, we just felt the bond that is just more than friendship, y’know? Well, apparently I don’t, because when things started going downhill with the Phandom having “proof” we were dating I turned my back and just completely abandoned the idea I ever loved Phil the way a couple loves one another.

  


_ ‘Phil and I are just friends, that’s it and nothing more. That’s how it was in the year you fell asleep in and that's how it is in the year you woke up’ _ My thought sounded sure yet unconvincing.

  


“God fuck I need to do SOMETHING before I explode from these thoughts” I mumble. I stand up and head into the kitchen Phil’s stream still going since even though it seemed like eight hours it had been only thirty minutes. That’s just how these thoughts worked, they’d just drifted around in my head for so long I lost track of time.

  


I poked my head into the lounge and smiled at Phil,”Would you like me to  make you some coffee?” I asked quietly but sadly based on the way Phil looked at the screen the watchers seemed to of found out I was there,”No, I was actually planning to get some later, but thanks.” He replied, quickly rushing me out using his hands without leaving the couch.

  


I give him an apologetic nod and mouthed sorry before quickly going back into the kitchen and deciding on just pouring myself a cup of ribena and enjoying it right there in the kitchen. There was no other place to go really seeing that Phil occupied the lounge and obviously I couldn’t go into his room and I had no intentions of locking myself back in my room like I had all day so far. I sigh then just sit down on the kitchen floor drinking my ribena,” Literally fuck my life.” I mutter, watching my ribena spinning in the wine glass I poured it in. 

  


I feel a hand shaking me back to reality, the darkness soon being replaced by the white tiles of the kitchen floor,”Oh my god Dan you’re awake. I saw the empty wine glass and I’d figured you’d been drinking or something.” He said, taking my hand and helping me up off the floor.

  


“Haha, no, it was just Ribena. There isn’t a drop of alcohol in this house, trust me I’ve looked.” I say, partially joking but at the same time there may have been a chance that at one point I ambushed the kitchen in search of some kind of escape from this weird fucked up thing that’s happening to me. Sadly, or maybe for both mine and Phil’s sake, thankfully there wasn’t anything that would cause any type of intoxication in the house.

  


Phil chuckles and a smile appears on his face,” Yes, me and Dan agree that the only time we would drink is if we were over at a friends and we were offered and we wanted some or if we ever went out to the pub or something which, sorry to disappoint you, but me and Dan still don’t have lives exciting enough to do stuff like that.” He replies looking over at me.”Anyways, since it’s only 6:30 do you still wanna go out? I was thinking about just heading out to starbucks or something like that, that’s why I didn’t want any coffee earlier. Thanks for that guest appearance by the way, the chat wouldn’t hush about you for like twenty minutes.”

  


I lean against the table counter and look over at Phil,”Sorry about that, just trying to be nice. But yeah, starbucks sounds fine by me. God the last I’ve been out was in 2012 and that’s been nearly a month, are you trying to treat me like your prisoner or something?” I joke, nudging him on the shoulder playfully then I head toward the kitchen door.”Lemme get dressed first and then we can head out.” 

  


My wardrobe hadn’t changed much, I still had a handful of t-shirts from my time but they were slightly tight so I grabbed a long sleeved black shirt and slipped on some skinny jeans.”Hey, ya ready?” Phil asks knocking on the door then opening it without reply.

  


“Erm, yeah let’s head out. Why do you sound like you’re in such a rush anyways? It’s just coffee. If anything I should be the one who’s excited seeing that I haven’t been out in ages. I’m officially stepping out into the future.” I say doing a weird wave thing with my hands to emphasize ‘the future’

  


He laughs as we walk out the door of the flat and head down the stairs to the front door.”I don’t know, I guess cause I haven’t been out with a friend in a while either? Plus, I just like going out rather than being in this house for days on end.” As we walk out the door a see out the corner of my eye Phil makes a small attempt to grab my hand but quickly stuffs it into his jacket pocket awkwardly as we walked down the pavement.

  


I act like I saw nothing for his sake and just reply to  his comment.” Yeah, I understand how you feel as I’d like to reiterate for the third time now I haven’t been out the house since 2012. So far London hasn’t seemed to of changed much, I was kind of hoping so see flying cars zooming by and maybe a person riding a hoverboard or something.”

  


He laughs at my last comment.” You don’t think that’s what I was hoping? But sadly, this isn’t back to the future so nothing really futuristic unless you count the new iphone 6 which the iphone 7 probably will be on its way soon already, haha.” 

I smile at over at him and we continue to ramble on as we just walk to our destination. We rant about so many things, the future, the present, anything you can think about except for eachother. We both avoid the subject of how life was for us before me and my future self switched. I figured it was just because Phil felt he shouldn’t spoil things about us or something like that but there was that one burning question that had been going through my head since I arrived here really.” Hey Phil…?” I say as we continue walking, the Starbucks in sight.

  


“Yeah, what is it?”

  


I look down at the floor as we continue to walk, still debating to myself whether it was appropriate to ask the question,” What um… What are we in 2016? Like, I know you say we’re friends and all but.. the way you look at me and other stuff just… Makes me think, y’know?”

  


I notice his face kind of fell as he heard the question and his walking fell a step behind me but he still kept going, seeming determined not to appear affected by the question. Needless to say he wasn’t doing a very good job. He lets out a fake laugh.” You sound like one of our crazy phan shippers. Of course we aren’t together, we’re friends. After everything we officially decided that we’d be better off just being friends which seems to be working out well so far.” He explains although his voice is stiff and there seemed to be a hint of bitterness to it.

  


I open the door for him and we get into the line.” Umm, alright then. I mean, I’m not calling you a liar or anything but you don’t sound very convincing..” I reply not exactly knowing if that was the right thing to say.

  


I see Phil tense up and an annoyed expression painted onto his face.” One caramel macchiato, tall size please.”

  


“Actually make that two if that’s alright.” I add smiling politely over at the women at the register.

  


She smiles back at me nodding her head.”Of course it is, will that be all for you two?”

  


“Yes.” Phil replies simply, smiling lightly although the past conversation still getting to him.

  


“Alright, that’ll be 5.67.”

  


Phil reaches into his pocket to get his money and I quickly stop him.”No, let me pay, I’ve got it.” I quickly dig into my coat pocket taking out my wallet and taking out 6 pounds seeing I had no change. I hold out the money to her and she takes it and hands me the change.

  


“Alright, and what are your names?”

  


“Dan and Phil.” I tell her as I see her write our name on individual cups.

  


“Alright, those’ll be right out for you.”

  


“Thank you.” I nod smiling over at her before leaving the line and finding a seat next to the window, Phil sitting down beside me.” Sorry about bringing it up. It’s just been on my mind for a while..” I say awkwardly coughing. This is exactly why I didn’t want to ask.

  


“It’s fine. I’ve been expecting the question for a while now I just didn’t expect you to ask then,” He crosses his arms looking out the window, not wanting to look over at me.” Thank you for paying by the way, you didn’t have to.”

  


“It’s fine. I’m sure Dan won’t mind being short 6 pounds anyways.”

  


“Two Caramel Macchiato's for Dan and Phil!” I Iook over at the counter to see it was the same girl who was at the register that called out our names. I get up and walk over to get our drinks and she slides a folded paper the texture of a receipt,” Here you go, and you didn’t get your receipt earlier either.” She says, giving me an overly happy smiling which surprisingly didn’t seem fake.

  


“Oh uh.. Thank you.” I nod smiling back at her mine definitely not as happy or excited as hers.” Here you go,” I put down Phils drink in front of him as I sit down and open the paper which had nothing on it except for a number.

  


“Thanks, what’s that?” Phil asks, looking down at the white piece of paper in my hands.

  


I place it down on the table, revealing the number.”Looks like she gave me her number,” I smirk looking at it.” Too bad I’m not the present Dan though. Maybe he’ll find it when he comes back and call her up sometime, what do you think?” I look over at Phil whose face seemed frozen. His eyes stared at the number with pure hatred. “Um...Phil?” I say hesitantly snapping my fingers relatively close to his face.

  


He shoots his head up to look at me.”S-sorry..” He answers, his face a light red out of embarrassment.

  


“It’s fine.. So anyways, do you wanna tell me more about what led to the conclusion that we’d be better off as friends?” I ask, taking a small sip of my drink.

  


“Yeah, sure.” His face turned serious yet if I studied it hard enough I could see there was a hint of hesitation as he explained.” There’s not really much to explain. We definitely got into a handful of arguments of what we were and what we identify as. But they always sort of ended up with us just deciding on figuring it out later since I guess the both of us never really wanted it answered since we kind of had hopes that there’d be a point in time where we would BOTH realize what we were. The problem was you wanted to just be friends but at the same time you were the one who would occasionally flirt and kiss me and stuff, and I just wanted what would make you happy,” He pauses sighing before continuing his explanation.” We continued on with our behavior, acting as if we were friends but always having the atmosphere of being boyfriends until one day we kind of just realized that this couple thing wouldn’t work. I mean, we had our reasons…,” He pauses again, his last statement coming out a bit hoarse and hesitant.” But yeah, since that day we just have determined we were friends and nothing more, he’s happy and I’m happy so that’s just how it was.” He finishes, forcing his voice to turn to is normal, optimistic one.

  


I nod my head,” I see. That definitely seems convincing.”

  


Phil only nods in response, looking blankly down at his cup. His mind was screaming to him on the inside. Ashamed that he could even make up such a convincing story on how they stayed  friends. All he did was switch friends with boyfriend but just imagining the situation in that way made him tear up. He wanted to tell this Dan the truth so much but he couldn’t. He didn’t need to know since he’s in the process of figuring it out himself. It didn’t help that this Dan looked exactly the same as his Dan since they never switched bodies, only like souls or something. He’s been wanting to hug him or SOMETHING and since he looks like 2016 Dan Phil has nearly slipped up numerous times. He lets out a loud sigh, shaking the thoughts out of his mind.

  


“So,” Phil begins in attempt to change the subject but also trying to turn the tables.” You ready to tell me what happened that night or at least anything before the argument?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> side note: I have no clue hw british currency works so please don't yell at me for probably being terribly wrong about the price or cash Dan gave the cashier. I know, I am an uncultured spoon, I apologize.


	7. Just From Different Times

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short walk can cause many things... and make out session of course ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: There is making out pretty much at the end of this. I have never written smut and I'm afraid if I tried everyone including myself will scream and I will explode from embarrassment...
> 
> Sorry, ik I'm weird. Enjoy this chapter and be ready for next weeks update!

2016!Dan-

 

“Hey!” I jump at the loud sound of an optimistic Phil barging into my door.

 

I groan waking up from my nap and looking over at Phil, his hair wild and a large smile plastered on his face.” Ugh, Phil. What the hell? I thought I told you I was taking a nap,” I pause sitting up and scratching the back of my head.” Are you drunk or something?” I ask looking over at him.

 

Phil sits down on the side of my bed looking over at me, his eyes trailing down to my bare chest but quickly shooting back up to my head before I could notice,”No I’m not drunk. You should know me better than that. I only drink when there’s a like celebration or something, and even then I don’t have intentions on even getting buzzed, let alone drunk.”

 

I get out of my blankets then sit criss cross from Phil yawning before replying.” Then why the hell are you so hyper? It’s already 10:45, you should at least be a little tired.”

 

He slams his back to the mattress shrugging and looking up at me, his eyes full of energy.” I Honestly have no clue. I just kind of had a burst of energy. I REALLY wanted to do something so I came in to wake you up since I knew you would keep me up somehow.”

 

I get out of the bed and stretch before turning back to Phil and holding back an amused laugh at the sight of Phil sprawled out on my bed, his hair wild.” Alright, but if you want me to be even half as up and optimistic as you you’re gonna have to let me drink some kind of alcohol.” I reply grabbing my shirt I took off earlier before going to sleep from my desk chair and slipping it on.

 

He stands up and crosses his arms. “Are you sure you wanna drink Dan? I mean, you might not be the same in 2016 but in 2012 it can take you like literally one beer and a half to get you DRUNK.”

 

I scoff at his response as I walk into the kitchen and open the fridge, opening a beer that was in there,” Pft, I’ll be fine. Plus there’s only three in there, it’s not like that’ll get me drunk. Hell, I’m surprised if it even gives me a buzz.”

 

Phil rolls his eyes and grins as I take a sip of the beer. “Alright, don’t go crying to me when you wake up tomorrow wondering what the hell happened. Now come on, let’s like play a game or something.”

 

“Sure, like what, another video game?” I asked, leaning against the kitchen counter, using my free hand to comb my fringe to make it look at least half decent.

 

“Actually I was thinking we go the traditional route, like a board game or something.. How about a card game?”

 

I walk into the lounge and grab a deck of cards we normally kept in the drawer since we first moved in then sit down at the table.” Sounds fine by me, what game?”

 

Phil shrugs sitting down across from me,”I had no particular game in mind. How about phase 10?”  


My shoulders fall. “But then I’d have to go all way across the room to grab that deeeck.” I reply with a groan.

 

Phil rolls his eyes at me and takes the normal deck of cards from my hands then stands up. “Okay if you won’t get it I will. You’re still the same lazy Dan I’ve always known,” He says putting the cards back and grabbing the Phase 10 ones then heading back to the table. “I’ll deal first.”

 

I nod in response, replying after taking a large sip of my drink. “ Fine by me, hope you’re ready to be creamed.” I shoot him my most determined grin looking him straight in the eye.

 

He laughs under his breath at my competitive behavior. “Suuure you will. You say this every game we play and have yet to beat at phase 10. Maybe today’ll be the one, who knows. But  just be prepare to be destroyed.” Phil sends me a devious smile, showing me that I wasn’t the only one who could be competitive.

I roll my eyes at his response, taking a drink before picking up a card and doing my turn.

([Here ](http://howdoyouplayit.com/phase-10-card-game-rules/)are the rules for Phase 10 just in case your wtfing atm, all you need to know really are the phases though)

“Alright, so so far the score is 65 to 160, by the way if you haven’t noticed, the aim of the game is to have the LEAST points. I am on phase 10 and you sir, are on phase 9. Only way you can win is if you set me and even then I would have to be stuck with a lot of skips and wilds to even get higher than your score.” Phil says grinning. It had been nearly an hour and things were going great for me up until he set me several times around the middle of the game. So much for creaming him, but at the moment I was more focused on concentrating on the game rather than on Phil’s lips that I’d been focusing on around half an hour into the game, or more like 2 beers into the night. At the time I would’ve called you crazy if you told me I was pretty intoxicating, probably because I WAS pretty intoxicating. I hate to admit but Phil was right about me being a lightweight, he always was every time he told me when I drank but I would never admit it. I don’t know why I didn’t admit it, so don’t ask.

 

I scoff leaning back in my chair and looking at my hand Phil had just given me. I need a set of 5 and a set of 2 and I had literally jack shit. “I am going to set you if it’s the last thing I do. I only need one more card and then your ass is mine.” I bluff, scanning his body carefully as I spoke and finished my turn.

 

He shoots me a smirk. “Oh yeah? By the looks of it all you’re doing right now is eye fucking me you insane drunk,” He picks up a card from the deck then shoots me the most devilish grin I’ve seen. “Hate to break it to you by the way, but it seems that your ass is actually MINE.” He says putting down a set of 5 set of 3, discarding a skip then picking up another card and laying it down with his hand and discarding his final one making him out.

 

I stand up and throw my cards on the table with rage. “How the hell did you just go out on your FIRST turn this round?! You’ve gotta be cheating or SOMETHING!” I rush over to his side of the table examining his cards he’d laid down and the first few cards of the deck to see there wasn’t anything weird going on.

 

He sighs leaning back in his chair. “No cheats, I guess I’m just that good. Seems I still continue to go undefeated in phase 10.” He replies looking up at me,  awaiting my next move or response.

 

I pause for a long time, staring into his eyes for longer than I should have. My mind is telling me to go sit down on the sofa and enjoy the rest of the night with this Phil, who has yet to be my boyfriend again in this time, and just watch netflix or play a video game or just be stupid like we always do. But the alcohol was telling me to make myself comfortable on Phil’s lap and wrap my arms around his neck and have some fun. The alcohol made an excellent point mainly because I haven’t kissed  Phil in nearly a month now and it doesn’t help that the only difference is that this Phil is just a tad bit shorter than me and his hair his longer by only a few centimeters.

 

‘You can’t do anything physical with this one, he isn’t your Phil. Plus he was going through some hard shit with the Dan you look like now, there’s no way he’d even let you near him. But then again that’s not how it seemed a few days ago.’

 

The side of my brain that was left sober helped me shake out the thought and sit down on the sofa nonchalantly, as if nothing had just happened. “ Yeah, undefeated for now. Too bad your victory doesn’t last until 2016,” I reply turning the tv on and picking up my computer and opening netflix. “ Well now that I’m awake at 11:45 and there is nothing else to do wanna watch a movie or something?”

 

Phil stands up and closes my laptop and I look at him curiously, expecting some kind of flirtatious gesture even though our flirting had slowed down since the night we played portal 2 but he didn’t. He just stood there in front of me. “I was actually thinking we could just go for a walk or something and just kind of talk I guess.” Phil suggests with a shrug.

 

I look up at him, putting my computer beside me on the couch. “You want to go out when it’s cold as fuck outside and when it’s nearly twelve in the morning? Are you aiming to murder me or something?” I joke, making no signs that I was getting up at the suggestion.

 

“Come on, I’m not going to murder you. I just wanna talk to you with no distractions. I don’t know about you but in my time me and Dan haven’t done something like that in like two years,” He says walking over to the chair where he had his coat hung. “Please? I know you might not be the particular Dan I should be doing this with but I just kind of want to talk and be funny like we used to do before a bunch of stuff happened these past few months.”  


I sigh then get up from the sofa. “Alright, I’ll go. You’re lucky my drunk ass loves you,” I say meaning love in a friendship way although I did actually love him in a romantic way, I always had I was just too confused to realize it in this time. I head into my room, put on my jacket then meet Phil in the hallway. “Alright, lead the way. Any particular place you have in mind?” I ask as we walk down the stairs to the front door.

 

“Not really, the only thing I planned was walking and talking.” He says stuffing his hands in his pockets as we walk outside, the street light the only thing lighting our path ahead of us.

 

I mirror him doing the same thing with my hands. “Alright then, so I guess we’re kind of having an honesty hour thing. I’ll tell you what, this may or may not be a wise decision and I’m probably doing this because I’ve come to the realization that I am kind of buzzed but I will answer any question you have. Whether it be from the past, present, or future.” I say, shooting him a warm reassuring smile.

 

He returns the smile before replying. “Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind this entire walk. If you have any questions for me, which I doubt you do, I will be happy to answer them well and truthfully.”

 

I nod and answer before he could continue. “Actually I have a few questions pertaining to this year but you can go ahead and go first.”

 

“Alright, well first things first if you remember, what’s with you this year? I mean, I know it’s only July but you’ve just been so closed lately, like the only time you actually talk to me is when it’s necessary and even then you find some way to argue with me.” He asks, looking at the ground, avoiding any eye contact with me.

 

I hesitate to answer the question because this was the main thing that would be sorted out the night I came here and if Phil already knew the answers it might change the entire outcome. I sigh, sending a large cloud in front of me due to the cold air that pulled at our skin. “Well, I promised you answers, so I’ll answer it. The short answer is I was confused. I was confused about literally everything, you name it. Ever since that… Thing that we eventually vowed to never talk about got leaked I was angry, not at you but at myself, and I hate to admit it but I was a little mad at our subscriber base due to how they handled it. It was the sweetest thing anyone's ever done for me, and you know how much it meant to me but when it was leaked, I wasn’t ready to come out. I mean, honestly Phil, I barely accepted that I was with another man. I loved you to death and I felt that I had fallen in love with you but the entire phandom went wild with that video and went crazy, finding the most ridiculous things and calling it Phan proof. I wanted them to just chill out about it and I thought that if maybe we would just be friends in real life they would all calm down,” I let out a bitter laugh before continuing. “It’s funny how I actually thought I could just drop my love for you like that, I was such an idiot back then and if one were to ask, I still think I am just because of my idiotic thoughts every once in awhile. Anyways, I stopped talking to you around that time because I thought that if I just had time to myself I’d be less in love with you and our relationship would sort itself out really. To my disappointment every time I saw you it pained me to look at the hurt and abandonment in your eyes and then I just got angry and took it out on you. I’m sorry I took so long to talk to you about it. That argument that happened before I got here should’ve never happened. But, if you wanna think about it this way, because of that night I woke up the next morning and begged you for forgiveness and we sat in the lounge for hours as I explained everything how I just did. So do me a favor and just act like this is all news to you if you do end up remembering what happened?” I ask looking over at him and smiling.

 

He looks up at me wide eyed at my long explanation and he lets out a small laugh under his breath. “Sure thing, thank you for actually telling me, I’ve been so confused about why you’d keep snapping at me lately. I could’ve sworn you despised me or something.” He states, looking forward and turning a corner.

 

I notice that he seemed to have a certain destination in mind despite his past statement but I don’t ask since I didn’t really mind it. “Yeah, my dumb ass self never seemed to take into consideration how much I was actually affecting our relationship in a negative way. That brings me to my question. During these times, did you ever think about, like, leaving me in a way? Like you just wanted to drop everything and move out the flat and never speak to me again? I’ve wanted to ask my Phil this for the longest time but I never enjoyed bringing up these past memories since I knew it hurt both of us to even remember it.”

 

He smiles down at the floor bitterly. “God, I could never leave you Dan, truth is I’m so fucking in love with you I’d LITERALLY rather be dead then watch you walk out on me. Knowing me, I probably would think the same thing in your time too. The only thoughts I had during this time period was why and how I could help you. I mean, I won’t lie the thought of screaming my head off in frustration to you passed through my head numerous times, but I always reminded myself that yelling wouldn’t solve anything and if you really wanted to tell me something, I wouldn’t get it by trying to push it out of you.” He tells me, looking down at my hands that I had taken out of my pocket.

 

I notice his gaze then make a quick decision with little thought. I nudge him lightly so he gets the idea to take out his own hand and then I carefully entwine my fingers with his. His hand was warm against mine. I look him straight in the eyes and for the first time since I’ve been here I see genuine happiness and warmth expressed from the glow in them. I smile at the sight then look forward to see he has lead us into the closest park. At the moment I choose to not ask and just see what he had planned. “That is great to know. Thank you for telling me. In case it wasn’t clear, I am, and even if it didn’t seem like it, always have been in love with you the moment we started skyping nearly daily.”

 

Phil smiles warmly at the thought of the late night skype calls that lasted until one of us fell asleep. “Those were great,” He pauses, stopping at a water fountain and sitting down on the edge of it, I sit down beside him, our hands never letting go of one anothers. “Do you remember when we went to the fountain at that Halloween YouTube gathering?” He asks, his voice careful, knowing that he’d mentioned that in the particular thing that started this all.

 

I only smile in response, not letting that ruin the beautiful memories that we could call our own. “Yes, we sat at a fountain, and held hands and just looked at the stars then,” I stop realizing we were doing everything we did that night except for the last thing and shoot Phil a smirk. “You planned all this, didn’t you?” I ask, hostility nowhere in my voice.

 

“No, I only planned walking in the park and sitting at the fountain and talking. It’s thanks to you holding my hand that I brought it up,” He pauses, slight nervousness in his voice before continuing. “And it’s thanks to you for giving me the courage to do this-” He crawls onto my lap, straddling me and I wrap my arms around his back for support as he leans down and kisses me slowly.

 

The kiss is deep and passionate and although I was hesitant, I kissed back. I’m quickly back to 2016.. and 2015, AND 2009, and every year that was just as magical as this kiss. It felt like I was everywhere but nowhere at once. It was warm, and his lips were soft as they always had been. It was like I was kissing the sun, the bitter cold unfelt, warmth replacing it. I don’t understand why this kiss was as great as it was in all honesty, perhaps it was because both of us haven’t kissed one another in a while, or maybe because we were reminded of the times we both could remember that made us happier than anything. Whatever it was, I still don’t quite know, but I did know it couldn’t last forever. In fact, I’m the first to break the kiss.

 

I look up at Phil, hesitation in my eyes. “Phil, I don’t think we should be doing this. I mean, I love you but you’re not my Phil, and I’m not your Dan..” I say quietly, our mouths lightly touching one anothers.

 

Phil tucks my fringe out of my eye before replying. “I am your Phil, and you are my Dan. We’re still the same people, just from different times. We both still love each other just the same, so what’s the problem?” He says, his voice barely audible.

 

He had a point. We were the same people, I was just in a different time period. Plus, his glowing blue eyes were killing me and I chose to give in. “Well, at the moment the problem is we are sitting here in the freezing cold in the park while you are currently on my lap. What do you say we take this home?” I say, warmth the only thing in my tone.

 

He nods getting off me and takes my hand as I get up and we head back to our flat as quickly as possible.

 

When we get home the sun is just beginning to rise and both of us despite practically pulling an all nighter are still pretty awake. I knew this for myself because I’d had a night that if time could help it I would never forget and I knew this for Phil because as soon as we got into the door I was dragged into the lounge, pushed onto the couch and immediately straddled by him. He leans down kissing me hard and I quickly interrupt it with a small laugh. “Alright you horny bastard, calm down.”

 

He blushes slightly, looking around the room awkwardly before bringing his attention back to me. “Sorry, I just haven’t done this for a while..” He answers, not attempting any kiss or move.

 

I sit up and kiss him on the lips quickly before replying. “It’s fiiine, I’m just messing with you. Now just shut up and kiss me.” I say, my lips close to his.

 

He does as told and pushes my back against the couch and kisses me passionately. I kiss back hard and after a minute I bite his bottom lip lightly to allow my tongue to slip into his mouth. He lets out what I guess one would classify as a small moan and our tongues collide and battle for a while inside of our mouths. In the meantime I feel Phil’s hands unzip my jacket that I hadn’t had time to take off and smoothly slip it off of me without breaking the kiss. He then trails his hands to the hem of my shirt and pulls at it as a warning that this kiss will temporarily have to break, then pulls it up off my head as I break from his mouth.  He pauses, examining my body. “I was hoping to see your shirt off the entire night after seeing you when you woke up.” He comments, throwing my shirt onto the floor.

 

“I could tell,” I answer simply with a smirk. I then work on his shirt, unbuttoning each button as quickly as possible. “Ugh, you and your god damned button up t-shirts.”

 

He shrugs apathetically. “Sorry, I didn’t exactly expect a make out session tonight.” He replies, leaning down and sucking on my neck.

 

I let out a pleased sigh, losing my concentration on the button but still determined to finished unbuttoning his entire shirt. After a minute or so I get them all unbuttoned and I quickly take off his shirt and throw it on the floor. I lean back on the sofa, Phil’s lips continuing to kiss up and down my neck. He reaches my collarbone then grins deviously before biting down on it. The bite wasn’t hard, but it was enough for me to gasp quietly. “Was that really necessary Phil?” I mumbled, my eyes closed. He hums out a small ‘mhmm’ before sucking on a different part of my neck long and hard enough that I knew I’d be waking up to a hickey later on. He sends light kisses up my neck then meets my mouth and kisses me on the lips. I kiss back then lean sideways on the couch, allowing myself to lay down on the sofa and for Phil to properly straddle me. He follows my motion then unexpectedly grinds against me, causing me to moan into the kiss.

 

After a while of letting him have his fun and getting some pleasure out of me I quickly turn him around, allowing myself to be the one on top. I lean down and start kissing at the bottom of his torso, close enough to his cock to make him freeze, a small gasp coming out but not very loud. I kiss around the bottom of his torso for a while then lead a trail of kisses up to his neck. While working on a master piece of my own on Phil’s neck I press my hips against his receiving a loud moan. I continue this motion for a while, my lips coming up to his in the meantime. We both nip at each other's lips and entwine our tongues with one another’s for a while until I feel Phil reach for the button of my pants. I let go from the kiss then open my eyes and look down at him. “I can’t do that.” I say simply.

 

He looks up at me, his eyes desperate. “But Dan,” He pauses, choosing his words carefully without explicitly telling me why he needed this. “I want you, I… I need you.” Wow, sure did a great job there Phil.

 

I ignore the desperation in his voice. “I know, I need you too Phil but… We can’t. I can’t, I’m sorry,” I sigh. I was telling the truth, I couldn’t fuck him, he wasn’t the Phil who I’d done so many new things with. He was 2012 Phil, who I knew loved me to death but, I just couldn’t do it with him.There’s a long pause until Phil pushes me off him then heads towards the exit of the lounge. “Where are you going?” I ask, already knowing the answer.

 

“My bedroom to finish. Don’t worry, I’ll still be thinking about you.” He remarks with a ‘too bad you said no, you sure missed out’ smile then walking out.

  
I sigh hearing his bedroom door shut. I then head down into the bathroom to deal with my own issue, ignoring the fact I had just rejected my boyfriend and instead thinking about before that happened.


	8. New Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, I'm here with my weekly update of two chapters! Since I have no school today I am actually working on new chapters like crazy and I am really looking forward to posting upcoming chapters. As for the two I'm uploading today, I hope you enjoy them both, I'll see you all next week :3!!

_ I hear a light knock on my bedroom door and don’t lookup from the piano that I was currently practicing since I already knew exactly who it was. “Hey Phil,” I feel my muscles tense, but I’m still moving my fingers along the keys quickly and swiftly, determined not to let this conversation that I planned to be short allow me to mess up. “What is it? I see you actually want to talk to me after giving me the silent treatment for about a week.” My voice is expressionless. _

 

_ I notice Phil tense up in annoyance at my response. He let’s out a sigh, trying to calm himself down before replying. “Dan, we need to talk. You’ve told me about what’s wrong and we’ve tried to figure it out numerous times…” _

 

_ His moment of silence allows me to add my commentary to his explanation. “And each time we agree to discuss it later,” I sigh, quickly remembering the next pattern of notes that is next while still trying to answer him. “And I’m guessing it’s later now, huh?” _

 

_ He sits on the side of my bed, staring over at me watching my fingers dance across the keys. “Yes, and despite how beautiful it sounds, can you please stop playing the piano? We need to have a serious conversation.” _

 

_ “What if I don’t want to?” My tone continues to stay monotone. I didn’t want to talk about this. It’s been five months since I told him why I’ve been avoiding him and the entire year we’ve been trying to be friends but I- I mean,  _ **_there_ ** _ were complications and several times a month we had huge arguments about so much shit and I was just tired of it. I didn’t want to start up another argument now. _

 

_ “Because Dan,” Phil gets up and walks over to me, leaning his arm on the top of the piano. “I need to talk to you about us. And I’m serious when I say as long as I can help it this will not be like the others.” _

 

_ I stop my playing. I don’t reply immediately, staring blankly at the keys. “Alright, go on and speak..” I say simply, ready to just sit here and listen to him. _

 

_ He sighs closing his eyes for a moment before re opening them and speaking. “Dan, we’ve known each other since like 2009, and you’ve technically known me for longer than that and it’s 2012, almost 2013. That’s nearly FOUR years and can you please tell me a point in time when we weren’t acting romantic in ANY way, shape, or form,” The question was rhetorical of course, but it made me tense up. He made a point, ever since we started skyping the flirting never really ended. The only moment it truly came to a stop was the start of this year, and even after I had confessed to Phil my issue we- or I have to admit,  _ **_I_ ** _ would still flirt with Phil and on occasions kiss him and… other stuff. Don’t ask why, I don’t know, I just needed someone, that’s my excuse. “Never, if you exclude the beginning of the year. There has never been any point in time we haven’t shown romantic affection towards each other-” _

 

_ “OKAY!” I snap, about to stand up in a huge fit of anger and go off on him like the many arguments we’ve been having lately, but I didn’t. I quickly calm myself down before replying. “Okay Phil, w-what’s your point? Where are you going with this?” I ask, finishing with an annoyed sigh. _

 

_ “I’m trying to tell you that Dan, we can’t do this… this, whatever this is!” He yells, shooting his head up and looking over at me directly in the eyes. “I’m sorry that you aren’t ready to come out to our fans, I’m not either but… But that doesn’t mean you aren’t gay, or bisexaul, or… or that you don’t love me and I’m just your best friend or friend with benefit. Dan, I love you, like A LOT, and no matter what I’m always going to be here for you but,” He pauses, taking my hand in his and oh my god did this turn into some kind of cheesy scene in a rom com. “But I can’t just sit here while you try and ignore me when you’re just confused with a shit load of stuff. I can help you, I want to. But I can’t do that when one minute you’re ignoring me and the next you’re on my lap telling me “I’m so hot”, we just can’t do something like that, so I’m sorry but I need to know now, not later. Dan, do you want this… US, or do you really want just a friendship out of this, do you really EXPECT just a friendship out of this?” The question was left in the atmosphere for a while, it seemed to be hours when I just stood there, numerous contradicting emotions going through my head. _

 

_“Phil I-” I freeze then just hug him tightly. “I’m sorry I put you through so much shit this year, I’ve been such a prick and I don’t deserve you, I really don’t. I love you Phil, I really do it’s just. Everything, with that video and the phandom going insane I felt pressured into announcing what we were. What_ ** _I_** _was really. I still don’t know my sexuality in all honesty. All I know is I love YOU Phil, and I don’t know why it had to take an entire year and you to finally put_ _your foot down to get it through my thick brain that even if the phandom found out, it wouldn’t matter because at least I’d have you by my side the entire time.” I spoke fast and frantically, but I could tell Phil was hanging on to every word I was saying. I break from the hug, looking over at a Phil who was beginning to tear up, I push him on the shoulder lightly, laughing. “C’mon, you don’t need to cry. This isn’t some soppy romantic movie or something.”_

 

_ Phil smiles over at me, letting out a small laugh at my comment. “I know, I didn’t intend to cry. But just so you know, it really does seem like this would be the climax of a good romance movie.” _

 

_ “Yeah, maybe we should produce a film like that. We can be the lead roles and we’ll probably get news that half our fan base has passed out due to seeing us in such distress over loving each other,” I smile, leaning up and kissing Phil on the forehead, not backing away from his face much, only enough so I could get a good glimpse of his beautiful, bluish green eyes as I said this. “I’m going to be saying this the entirety of my life but I’m sorry you had to deal with me all year. But I want you to know that I am really fucking sorry, and that I do, and always will love you, alright Phil? Please, whatever happens, if this happens ever again, remember that, okay?” _

 

My eyes shoot open and I sit up and quickly and look around the room. I was still in the future, 2016. I was still 2012 Dan in 2016 Dan’s body. But I remembered now. I had the memory, of that night, of the entirety of 2012, even the days and months I hadn’t even lived yet. What the fuck just happened? WHY the fuck did this just happen? I had the memories, I had THAT memory. The night me and Phil made up officially and we… were a couple..? That couldn’t have made sense, I asked Phil literally yesterday and he said we were friends, that we said we’d be better off that way. He lied to me, he had to of because what just happened wasn’t a dream. I LIVED that night, I felt the keys on the piano fall as I pressed them, the sound of music echoing through my room and I felt the warmth of Phil’s arms wrapped around me. I felt every emotion I supposedly did that night and I acknowledged every word I said aloud, but I just couldn’t control them. I couldn’t control anything. That’s why I know it wasn’t a dream. In a dream, when I know it is one I can usually control it or at least be aware it is a dream. Plus, dreams are never as vivid as it was. I had this moment stuck in my head, like a MEMORY. It’s the only explanation, and now it’s time for Phil’s reasoning.

 

I get up out of my bed, checking the clock before heading out of my room. It was nearly ten in the morning, so Phil would most likely be a awake by now. I walk into the lounge and see him on his laptop sitting on the sofa, he looks up at me, smiles, then looks back down at his laptop, going back to what he was doing originally. “Morning sleepy head. What’s up?”

 

I choose to just cut to the chase. “Well, I woke up this morning, remembering literally every moment from 2012. Including a small talk in December about… us,” I try to foreshadow the news that I had recently found out but quickly realized it was time for me to stop bouncing around things and start being straightforward. “I know about us Phil, I know we’re together and we have been since the end of 2012.”

 

Phil tenses up. I could tell he was having a fight with himself debating on whether to just protest or accept the fact I’ve officially found out. “Okay,”He sighs. “I’m sorry I lied to you, it’s just-”

 

“I didn’t think I was gay in 2012 and you didn’t want me to freak out about us, yeah I know,” I finish his sentence and he looks over at me in surprise but that doesn’t stop me from finishing what I was going to say. “Honestly Phil, I’ve known it’s just… I wasn’t ready. I-I’m not ready to admit it to myself yet whether the Dan that has this memory that is now mine until I leave or not. I’m not saying I don’t enjoy or accept what the future is for me and you, but I’m saying I don’t want to acknowledge this for the rest of the time I’m here.” I tell him, my voice stern and serious.

 

Phil’s expression turns, he frowns and there’s a hint of anger in his eyes. “Alright, that’s fine. I won’t talk of it with you,”  I nod and as I head back into my room I think I hear him mumble. “Let’s just hope my Dan comes back soon, because I want him now more than anything.”

 

I clench my fist just imagining that’s what he had said and plop myself back onto my bed. “What’s happening to me? I’m so confused.” I mumbled to myself, I feel a rush of mixed negative emotions beginning to bubble up inside me. I let the tears that have been begging to come out since I got here fall. I wanted to disappear, I couldn’t handle what was being laid out in front of me. I wasn’t ready for 2016, or to find out my sexuality from my own memory in the future, I didn’t want any of this, I didn’t ask for any of this.

 

_ ‘Yes you did. You asked for all of this, you wished for all of this.’ _

  
I punch my mattress and scream into my pillow, I walk around the room and I just stress out. I lock myself in my room and I’m in there for longer than.. Well I don’t know, it felt like a lifetime. I freaked out and I was just there in my room trying to figure out any other way to get me home, to make everything okay and to make me not feel the way I am right now. This shouldn’t have happened, I shouldn’t have been crying and freaking out, the trigger being finding out that I’m actually dating the person I’ve actually loved all along, what a shocker. I’m and idiot, I know. Everything kind of just became a blur after a while, I heard the door open and I was in my bed and crying, not caring who was at the door. After a minute or so of hearing the only voice I’m familiar with in this world I feel him climb into my bed with me and starting to coddle me as if I were a child who needed someone else to protect them and I let him do that. The afternoon was spent like this pretty much the entire time. I fell asleep in his arms eventually, but at the time I of course hadn’t quite realized who it was, I just needed someone to be there for me, and he was. Just like he has been for the past seven years now, and he wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon


	9. Pancakes and Cuddles

2016!Dan-

 

“Boo!” My eyes pop open at the noise and I’m greeted by an upside down Phil literally in front of my face, touching my nose lightly. 

 

“Holy shit!” I jump and quickly sit up, Phil picking his head up before mine rammed into his. “What the honest fuck Phil?” I exclaimed, looking around at my surroundings. I was in the lounge and it was 10 in the morning, so I figured I must’ve fallen asleep on the couch after coming back from the bathroom. Phil was currently behind me but he quickly sits down on the couch as I sit up.

 

“Sorry, did I scare you?” He asks, holding in a laugh, knowing the answer.

 

I push him hard, causing him to start laughing loudly. “Yes you scared me you twat. You’re terrible.” I say, trying to sound angry although I was fighting a large grin behind the serious facade.

 

He stops laughing and only smiles over at me, nudging me on the shoulder. “I’m sorry, but in my defense you would have totally done the same thing to me,” He scans over my body seeing that I was wearing what he left me with last night, no shirt and black skinny jeans. “I see you didn’t change since last night, why didn’t you get dressed or head to your room?” He asks, looking up at me. He stays where he is, seeming unsure what his boundaries were now.

 

I shrug then stand up and grab my black shirt that only a few hours ago was thrown on the floor by Phil himself. “I don’t know, when you left I went down to the bathroom, did my business, then went back up here and I guess I kind of just crashed on the couch before I could make it to my room,” I say, slipping the shirt over my head then sitting back down on the couch beside him. “So, what’s on the agenda for today, any plans?” I ask, not acknowledging the unsure look Phil was shooting me at the moment.

 

“Um… No not really. I was going to make a video for my channel today since I haven’t made one in quite a while but I was going to do that sometime in the afternoon,” He continues to look over at me, trying to figure out what the boundaries were without asking until he finally gives up. “Hey, so uh. About last night.. I’m sorry I kind of took it too far I guess-”

 

I let out a single laugh. “Shut up Phil, it wasn’t your fault so don’t apologize. I’m sorry I didn’t make it clear to you what the boundaries were.” I answer, looking at the floor.

 

He kind of ignores my response, not knowing how to reply. “Right, but uh Dan, what ARE the boundaries exactly? I mean, you had a point last night at the fountain. We aren’t exactly eachothers Dan or Phil so I could understand why you wouldn’t want to do anything romantic..”

 

I hold back a sigh, this was so awkward I wanted to just jump out a window. I scoot closer to Phil and wrap my arm around his shoulder. “Look Phil, if I REALLY didn’t want anything romantic out of this stay then I wouldn’t have started flirting with you in the first place and I sure as hell wouldn’t have allowed that make out session last night. The only thing I don’t want to cross is what I didn’t want to do last night,” I look over at him and shoot him a reassuring smile, earning a small one back. “Now stop being so awkward, you spork. Let’s go make some breakfast or something.” I get up from my seat and head into the kitchen, Phil following me.

 

“Alright, do you just want cereal or something?” He asks, leaning against the kitchen counter.

 

I open the fridge door, looking to see if we had the resources to make what I had a craving for. “How about pancakes and some coffee?” I ask, taking out the supplies to make the batter and closing the fridge.

 

“Sure, sounds fine by me, how’s your cooking in 2016? Still pretty decent?” He asks, starting to put in the coffee grinds in the filter and pouring water into the machine and starting the coffee maker up.

 

“Yeah, I’m alright I guess. Definitely not like a professional cook or anything, I can only do the basic stuff, like pancakes,” I say putting the ingredients into the batter, looking down at the flour and then back at a clueless Phil deviously. “Hey Phil, can you turn to me for a sec please?” I ask turning my head and scooping up a handful of flour.

 

“Um… Okay, why do you want me to-” As he turns I throw the flour in his direction, practically making his entire shirt and face white, getting some of it in his hair too. “Argh, holy crap Dan, what the heck?!” He exclaims, quickly reaching for some flour in the bag and smashing his hand onto my shirt, causing my pure black shirt to become white in the front and black in the back.

 

I laugh, pushing him back lightly. “Haha, dammit Phil, now this shirt is 100% ruined. What will I do, the shirt that is a pure representation of my soul is now  white with a hint of black. What does this meaaaannnn?” I say, exaggerating the last word and allowing my voice to crack.

 

He smirks, taking over mixing the batter. “It means you’re flatmate was getting revenge on you. It also means your soul is now black with a hint of innocence.” He glances over at me, still grinning.

 

“Oh no, this isn’t right. I’m the awkward sarcastic dude who people laugh at, not that and an innocent thing of cuteness. That spot would be taken by you of course.” I say, wrapping my arms around Phil’s torso and kissing him on the cheek. I nuzzle my head into his neck, watching him mix the batter.

 

“You are terribly adorable right now, do act like this all the time in 2016?”

 

“I don’t know, we’re both cuddly and cute in 2016. But in my opinion you are more adorable than a damn puppy dog, from 2009 up to 2016.” I reply, sighing quietly and closing my eyes.

 

Phil’s face turns a light shade of red.” The same goes for you from me y’know? Especially right now. What’s up with you by the way? You just randomly started cuddling me right after assaulting me with flour.” He asks, finishing stirring but refusing to move, not wanting me to let go of him.

 

To his disappointment I open my eyes and unwrap my arms from his torso. “I don’t know, maybe cause I haven’t cuddled up with Phil for nearly a month now. I’m pretty sure last night has just sparked my need for a nice cuddle,” I shrug then look down at my shirt. I think about going up to my room and changing quickly but then get an idea and grin over at Phil. “Well all jokes aside, this shirt is actually ruined. I’d change it but then I’d have to go to my room and that’ll take too long, alright if I just take it off and change after we make pancakes?”

 

He smirks, taking out a frying pan and placing it on the stove. “Of course, although your room is literally like a few steps from here and I know you’re just making an excuse to take your shirt off, figuring you’d fluster me or something. It won’t work by the way, but I will enjoy it.” He says, quickly becoming aware of my plan.

 

I smirk over at him then just take my shirt off anyways, placing it on the counter. “Whatever, at least you enjoy it. What a shame you’ve become immune to my plans to make you flustered. You are terribly adorable when you’re all nervous and have no clue how to respond.” I reply, walking next to him and picking up the ladle that was next to the bowl then scoop it up and pouring it into the pan.

 

“Yes, what a catastrophe that I will no longer have no clue how to react to your flirtatious behavior and poor attempts to make me sexually frustrated. Now that is my job, let’s hope I get as much entertainment out of it as you did.” He says spreading out the batter in the pan evenly before it started properly cooking.

 

“Yes, I look forward to you trying to do that. I am a brick wall when it comes to that stuff.” I say, leaning against the kitchen counter and crossing my arms with a confident smirk. 

 

He lets out a laugh. “Pfft, please. Before now you used to be the most squeamish person when I made any flirtatious gesture with you. I’m sure you’re not much different in your time.”

 

“Nah, I’m a lot less like that, I like to cut to the chase y’know. You start flirting with me I’ll get the signal then boom, let the make out session begin.” I tell him, shooting my hands out, my tone playful.

 

“Shut up!” He says laughing, looking down at the pancake to see it was ready to be flipped. “Watch this.” He takes the frying pan and throws the pancake up in the air. As it begins to fall he makes an attempt to catch it and it lands halfway on the pan halfway off of it.

 

I quickly slide the entire pancake onto the pan before the batter split in half. “Beautifully done Phil, 10 out of 10.”

 

\-----

 

“Mmm, these pancakes are good.” Phil states with a mouthful of it in his mouth. After finishing the pancakes and making our cups of coffee(and getting a shirt on) we migrated into the lounge, sitting at the dining table.

 

I smile, humour in my voice. “Yeah, they are. They’d be better if I couldn’t see them mashed up in your mouth though,” I joke, taking a sip of my coffee. “So, what’s the video you’re making gonna be about?” I ask, scanning through my head if Phil actually uploaded any videos in August in 2012.

 

“Well, I recently found my old msn chat logs, I was gonna do something on that.” He tells me, taking another bite of his pancake.

 

I grin, remembering the video of his old chat logs. “Nice, that sounds like you’re about to go on quite the adventure, huh?”

 

“Yeah, I’m sure it’s going to be a really fun video to film. What do you wanna do after though?”

 

“How about we just take a day to relax? Let’s just put on something to binge watch on the tv and cuddle.” I suggest, batting my pancake around before taking a bite of it.

 

“Sounds great. Oh, can I ask you something?”

 

“Shoot.”

 

“Have me in you come out yet in 2016, or 2015 seeing that it just recently turned 2016 in your time?”

 

I tense up at the question, but not as much as my old self would. “Um, no actually. I don’t exactly have an excuse why really. I mean, we’ve discussed coming out and how we’d do it, but we just never got to making the video. I don’t think it’s because we aren’t ready, maybe it’s because we think the phandom might literally explode by now if we announce it,” I say, laughing at my last statement. “But we’re starting to act a lot closer and stuff in recent videos. Like I said when I first got here, I have confirmed I am Phil trash number one and you are my youtube senpai, so I’ve left those two statement to our subscriber base to psychoanalyze.”

 

“Well, in all honesty I hope you end up making the video eventually.  I mean, I could understand about the fan base, they have been going insane in this time. But the reason they‘re freaking out in this time period is clearly obvious,” He says, taking the last bite of his pancake. “Well, I think I’m gonna go ahead and get the video done that way we don’t have to interrupt our peaceful day. What do you plan to do while I’m filming?” He asks, standing up.

 

Phil reaches for his plate but I quickly grab it before he can and stack it on top of mine which was also lacking pancakes. I stand up and follow him into the kitchen, putting the plates into the kitchen sink. “I’ll probably just get on the computer, browse the internet, the usual.” I answer simply, deciding to just clean the plates immediately so we didn’t have dishes to worry about later.

 

“Of course, I shouldn’t of had to ask. It’s been the same answer all these years so I should’ve know it wouldn’t have changed any.” He jokes, smiling over at me. “We should make a video together.” He states randomly, looking down at my hands that were currently cleaning our plates.

 

“Um… I don’t know about that, wouldn’t it like, cause some kind of paradox? Plus, if your Dan gets a hold of it while he is the way he is right now he’ll literally go insane.” I answer, my tone playful, not taking his request that seriously.

 

“I mean, I could hide it somewhere, I just want to see how we work together with the camera on now that you’re not all no homo howell,” He says, his tone becoming more serious by the second. “Sorry to use the term our entire fan base seems to use.”

 

I turn the sink off and then turn to Phil, leaning against the counter. “Okay, and if we did make a video what would it be about?”

 

He shrugs. “I don’t know, we’ll discuss that if we ever actually did it. It was only an idea, I was just kind of putting it out there.”

 

“Well, I’ll consider it. I’m not saying it’s not an idiotic idea, but I’m not saying we won’t do it either. Basically, just go make your video, and I’ll get back to you about it eventually.” I say, pushing myself off the counter and wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him lightly on the lips.

 

He smiles, heading towards the kitchen door after I unwrap my hands from him. “Alright, trust me I’ll be keeping that in mind.” He says simply, leaving me by myself in the kitchen.

  
I don’t know why, but I was smiling like an idiot. I was happy where I was, despite being literally four years away from my actual boyfriend. Even if I didn’t have MY Phil I did have one that loved me just as much as he did. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to leave, it was just that I was genuinely happy like I was in 2015 and 16 with where and who I was. I grab my macbook from my room, hearing Phil going on about his old msn chat logs, then head into the lounge and get into my signature sofa crease and open tumblr, happy that I hadn’t remembered exactly what was going on around the world of tumblr in 2012. The thought of Phil having to deal with my confused self pops into my mind, but I quickly shake it out. I couldn’t even imagine how frustrated or annoyed Phil must be at the moment, most likely trying to find some way to get me, HIS Dan, back to him.


	10. A Night to Remember

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! So I am here with my weekly update and would like to inform you all that I am done with writing this story and now we just need to wait a few more weeks until they are all up here, apologies for make you all wait by the way. 
> 
> Anyways, this chapter is basically just giving you all a bit more back story on the entire situation and I suppose I should leave a warning that there are mentions of the video that should not be named and apologize to that but either way I hope you enjoy both this chapter and the other one, see you all next week!
> 
> P.S.  
> Also a warning of angst/arguing

2012!Dan-

 

My eyes open slowly and I look around to see I was in my room, exactly where I passed out at originally. I could feel the tear marks on my face and sniffle. Looking down I saw long, pale arms wrapped around my torso protectively. I then look up to see none other than Phil who was sleeping silently, beautiful. Wait, what? No, Phil wasn’t beautiful, or I couldn’t call him beautiful. He’s my best friend, and he shouldn’t be cuddling me, and I shouldn’t be enjoying this as much as I am and, and…

 

Ah, fuck it. I liked this feeling, I was too weak to fight from Phil’s embrace even if I wanted to anyways. He was there for me when I was freaking out, even after I knew how much it hurt him to hear I wanted nothing to do with our future relationship. He was here, holding me in my arms, letting me use his chest as a pillow, even when I was such an insufferable twat just hours ago. It was this moment when I came to the realization he didn’t deserve this. He didn’t deserve a Dan who treated him like he was there only for my entertainment, he deserved the Dan he had before this, the Dan who cared about him and would die rather than see him leave, the Dan who knew and accepted his sexuality and knew who he was one hundred and ten percent.

 

I sigh, making my final decision and speak before I can back out.” Phil…?” I say, nudging him lightly.

 

I see his eyes open slowly, as he becomes aware of his surroundings and the situation he quickly unwraps his arms from me and backs away, so he is basically across the bed from me. “S-sorry Dan, I didn’t mean to-”

 

“It’s fine,” I answer, my voice still quiet but my tone serious. I needed to get the statement out before I could turn back. “I’m ready to tell you about that night,” I tell him, looking over at him and seeing shock and surprise in his eyes. “I know you want your Dan back more than anything in the world right now and I just want to get back home to figure out my life so I can end up living in this one in four years.” I finish, waiting for his response.

 

He turns towards me. “Alright, go on then, I’m listening.” He answers simply. Of course he was listening, he always was even if I didn’t ask him to.

 

I let out an uneasy sigh, preparing myself to describe the night I wished to be saved from.” Well, it started in the kitchen, you asked me what this was, what WE were…”

 

_ “What does it matter what we are Phil, you should know anyways.”  I spat, glaring over at him, tired of the invasive questions that I’ve been trying so hard to avoid lately. _

 

_ “Well I don’t know, you sit here treating me like I’m not even here for the past MONTH Dan. At the moment it seems like we’re not even acquaintances. Like I’m just some guy you hate who you’ve been forced to live with.” He replies, trying not to raise his voice, still hoping this conversation could not turn into a full out argument. _

 

_ Oh how wrong he was, but at least he tried. “Well what do you expect, there are people that are claiming that I’ve loved you for three years now and some that are claiming I’m on my knees for you every night as we speak! This wouldn’t have gotten out of control if it weren’t for that goddamn video Phil!” I yell, throwing my hands up in the air and stepping closer to Phil. _

 

_ His attempted calm tone quickly faded at my comment. “People claiming you love me? Dan, you do love me. Or at least that’s what you’ve been telling me the past three years. We are practically together Dan! We moved in together just so we could wake up to see one another in the morning and cuddle up together at night. What are you trying to say, that these three years is just an act, that you really don’t give a shit about me, about us?!” He yells, his blue eyes turning to blue flames. _

 

_ I ignore the fact the Phil had just cursed when he rarely did, and especially rarely towards me. “No j- I…” I’m at a loss of words and quickly get frustrated and fed up. “STOP PUTTING WORDS IN MY MOUTH DAMMIT!” _

 

_ “Just stop, okay?! You’re here accusing me of shit I never committed or agreed to. You are literally trying to put something I never once mentioned against me, so just fucking stop!” I’m screaming now, this is the part I have officially lost all control of myself. “I never once mentioned moving in with you specifically for the cuddles and to see your face. I never once claimed I was just “acting” these past years but I sure as hell never mentioned an “us” Alright Phil?!  I never committed to an us, so don’t you dare pin that shit against me. If it weren’t for your goddamn video that supposedly got “accidentally” unprivated by youtube this wouldn’t be happening, we’d be happy. There’d be no complications, so thanks for this by the way.”  _

 

_ “Oh, so you’re blaming ME for this?! Are you fucking serious Dan! I’m not the one who has been locking themselves in their room literally every day and avoiding you for the past month. And don’t you even bring up that video because you know damn well I didn’t unprivate that, I’m well aware of the problems of that video if it became public, why do you think I put it on my side channel?!” He’s now yelling in my face, and I back up quickly trying not to do anything I’d regret. _

 

_ “Just shut the fuck up about the video alright, of course you didn’t unprivate it, it’s not like you’re the only one with the password to that account other than me or anything. But whatever, you’re suppose to be my best friend so I guess I should believe you.” My voice is pouring with sarcasm and my hands are at my waist in fists. _

 

_ “Whatever Dan, I don’t want to even talk about it. Of course I would try actually talking to you about something that’s obviously bothering you and you’d respond like this.” He crossed his arms and rolled his eyes. _

 

_ “What’s that suppose to mean?!” _

 

_ “It means you’re being thick headed alright Dan! You’re acting like the world has something against you and nothing is on your side. I’m on your side Dan, I’m here for you EVERY. FUCKING. DAY. I’m here when you’re stressed, sad, angry, and when you used to be happy and confident. I don’t understand why the hell you’re acting the way you are so please, just fucking tell me already!” _

 

_ “It’s you Phil! You’re the fucking problem!” I scream, looking him directly in the eyes, seeing his anger being quickly replaced with shock and then sadness. “You sit here and you try to reach out for me. You treat me as if I’m your child, as if I’m some kind of toddler who needs to be coddled constantly. I’m not, I’m 21 years old for fuck sake so stop treating me like I’m your kid or something. I’m not, I’m suppose to be your best friend and that’s it, so stop treating me like a baby one minute then start making out with me the next. That’s not how this works Phil, that’s not how ANY of this works!” I was screaming to the top of my lungs now, ignoring the tears forming in my eyes. _

 

_ It was silent for the longest time, the only thing that could be heard was my heavy breathing, out of breath from my rant. _

 

“You looked over at me, your face was drenched in tears and the hurt in your eyes made me feel like I had just been stabbed numerous times.” I sniffed, tears falling down my cheek as I recalled the memory. “All you did was just shake your head in the most disappointed way, like you were completely finished with me. Like you had given up, and finally decided to stop trying anymore. You ran into your room and once I heard the door slam shut I went into mine as well. I sat there, letting my tears fall.” I look over at Phil who had hurt in his gaze but there were no tears, he was only focused on what I had to say. “ It wasn’t until I heard sobbing that I lost it. I started punching the walls and screaming into my pillows. After a while I felt exhausted, I wanted to give up too, I wanted give up on life really. I mean, I practically just told the best thing that happened to me I hated him so I didn’t think life was worth it anymore. I wanted to die Phil, I wanted to just take a knife and end it.” A sob escapes from my mouth as I say the words and I feel Phil quickly wrap his arms around me in comfort as I attempted to continue.

 

_ “Help me! I’m so fucking scared right now, someone please just help me.” I whimpered into my pillow. I couldn’t do it, and I wouldn’t. I never would, I just couldn’t. So I choose to just look up at my ceiling blankly. “If there’s some kind of deity or SOMETHING listening to me. Do something. Help me realize who I am, who I’m meant to be.” I let out and exhausted sigh and close my eyes, a few final tears escaping my eyes and traveling down my cheek. “PLEASE, because I can’t do his by myself. I can’t” I whimpered the last part, any piece of energy that I used to have completely drained out from my body. My eyes closed and I drifted to sleep expecting to be awaken the next day to Phil’s bags packed and ready to leave. _

 

“But that didn’t happen. I woke up here, and I think I know why,” I look over at him, wiping my eyes before continuing. “I’m here because I wished for help to realize who I am and what I was supposed to be. I was put into the future to see what’s changed. How it got better, how we worked through it. To understand that I do love you and that there shouldn’t be anything that would get in the way of that. That’s why I’m here, and I’m ready to go home, but I don’t know how.” I finish, exhausted from both talking without stopping for an hour and crying.

 

Phil finally speaks after a while. “I think if you’ve learned your lesson, and what the future holds you’ll end up home soon. It’s all up to the thing that sent you here really.” Phil says simply, resting his head on top of mine.

 

I nod my head. “Yeah,” I nuzzle my head into his neck.” Yeah I hope that’s what it is.”

 

We sit there for a while just in that position. I look down at his hand then choose to entwine my fingers with his. “Phil, thank you for this. For everything really, for dealing with me for the past six years and for helping me realize that there’s no way in hell I don’t love you.” I say quietly, nuzzling my head into his neck deeper, closing my eyes.

 

“Of course Dan. I didn’t deal with you, I made a life with you. I chose to be here with you because I love you. I always have and I always will, and I still loved you even throughout 2012. I’m never going to leave your side Dan, so just remember that when you go back to 2012, alright? I am not going anywhere without you ever.” He says softly, rubbing his thumb over my hand that was entwined with his fingers.

  
I nod, yawning. I was exhausted. I didn’t know what time it was and I didn’t really care. All I knew is that I had finally realized who I was and that there was  an “us” that would never end if we had anything to do about it. For the first time in forever I felt genuinely happy, there was a heavy weight lifted off my shoulders and I felt safe here with Phil, whether it was mine or not he was here and he wouldn’t leave me, neither of them would. And finally, I was okay with that.


	11. Hello 2012

I knock on the threshold of Phil’s bedroom, looking to see he was currently on his bed just kind of laying there. I can’t help but smile in amusement a bit despite feeling slight concern for him. It wasn’t like Phil to take mental breaks like this, that was my job really. My knocking seems to surprise him and his head shoots up to see me. “Oh.” He says simply, putting his head back down and staring up at the ceiling again.

 

“Oh?” I’m smirking playfully, taking a seat on the side of his bed. I studied his features and overall they seem relaxed. His blue pools were covered by his eyelids and his ebony hair was kind of wild but still seemed a bit kempt, proving he definitely wasn’t freaking out terribly about anything. “That’s all I get? Have I bored you with my kisses and cuddling already?” My voice was lively, expecting this to end with some kind of cuddling or making out just as most conversations led to so far since that one night.

 

Phil’s eyes don’t budge although he expresses a light smile. “Totally.” Sarcasm was pouring with the word and before I can reply he continues, shrugging. “I’m just thinking… About what’s gonna happen when my Dan comes back. I mean, I love you to death in 2012 and always have but Dan, I don’t want to go from cuddling and flirting from screaming at each other from the top of our lungs. Even if I don’t remember this, I really want to whether it’s up to me. That way throughout the year I can remember what we had, what we WILL have eventually. To show that it’s worth it, that it always was and it always will be.” He answers, letting out a sigh and finally opening his eyes, his gaze falling onto my face as he studied every feature of it as if he was trying to make a photo memory of this time, and the entire month just by looking at a face that was no different than his present Dan.

 

I sigh, then entwine my fingers into Phil’s. “There is a way for you to remember,” At the comment he seemed confused until I shot him a warm smile and explained it to him. “I believe I promised you a video. Or said I’d consider it. Let’s go ahead and make one, and make sure it’s so adorable it would make even the phandom sick.” 

 

He sits up, smiling over at me. “Really? Awesome, what kind of video should it be though.”

 

“Well, in the future we are a couple. So why not the boyfriend tag?” I suggest, my voice sounded confident yet on the inside I was terrified that this would change my future in 2016, if 2012 Phil remembered us and these memories something could happen that could change 2016 Phil and my future. Either or I risked it, I did it for him. He wanted to remember at least some of this, I had to allow him at least a quick video of only 8 minutes long or so.

 

Phil jumped up at the suggestion then rushed for the lights and the tripod and everything. His frantic and excited behavior kept a smile on my face. A dumb, toothy grin to be specific, this Phil was just as adorable as mine when it came to something he was excited for.

 

“Alright, let’s get this started. You’ve got the questions right?” Phil asks me, clapping his hands together.

 

“Heh, yes I have them right here on my phone you dork. Now let’s get this started, and remember this isn’t for the phandom it’s for you. So we don’t have to act as if we’re just really REALLY good best friends,” I remind him as he nods smiling and then leaning up to click start on the camera. I then choose to be the first to talk. “Hello 2012. My name is Dan.” I mimicked my very first video to get a laugh out of Phil despite the mental cringe attack it gave me just thinking about it. I choose to incorporate both of our beautifully cringing beginnings and shoot Phil a mischievous smirk. “ And this is OUR first video blog.” I wrap my arm around his neck and force his head into my neck, using my most mocking yet accurate northern accent in attempt to mimic Phil back in 2006. Phil lets out a playful laugh, fighting to be free from my grip.

 

“Hey, stop it!” He squeals and I let go of him and laugh at his request.

 

“Wow, I didn’t think you were a squeaker. Or, you never were really.” I wink in his direction causing him to blush.

 

“Shut up Dan, focus on the video,” He tells me, although his tone was far from trying to be professional or serious. “Anyways, as you can probably see I’m you. I’m Phil!-” He exclaims loudly with a large toothy grin.

 

I kiss him on the cheek and wrap my arm around his shoulders, scooting closer to him before interrupting his happy introduction. “And I am Dan, your boyfriend in the future if you haven’t noticed,” I say, then look down at my phone and ignoring Phil’s cute embarrassed behavior. “And we’re going to do the boyfriend tag, to make you CRYYYYY.” I joke, staring into the camera intensely.

 

“Haha, shut up we are not making my past, present, or whatever self cry.” Phil exclaims nuzzling his head into my neck. “Now ask the first question already.” 

 

I scroll through the questions looking for an interesting one. “What was your first impression of me?” I look down at Phil and grin. “How did you think about an eighteen year old stalking you on the internet?” I joke, awaiting his response.

 

He laughs at my comment before answering. “Well, the very VERY first impression, like when I replied back to you on twitter was that you were cool, I mean you liked Muse so why wouldn’t you be cool,” I snort at his choice in the word cool but he ignores and continues. “But if you mean the first time we met in real life I felt like you were too adorable for this world. I mean, at the time we’d just been flirting over skype and stuff and I really did like you but seeing you in person and actually talking to you made it so surreal. I wanted to meet you more, I just thought you were an awesome person, y’know?” He broke from my arm and neck, his excitement bubbling up inside him yet again.

 

I smile at his response. “Yeah. I mean for me I just thought you were a cool dude who had similar interests so I started tweeting you and commenting on your videos be I REALLY wanted to get to know you. Who the fuck knew stalking my youtube senpai would lead to all this.” I replied smiling then looking back at my phone, choosing yet another question.

 

____

 

“What’s my favorite cereal? For you it’s probably whatever mine is since you STILL sneak into the kitchen in the middle of the night, eating it out of the box with your HANDS at that.” I mumble nudging him playfully before looking for a final question. We’d been asking each other question after question and we kind of lost track of time. It could’ve been only 10 minutes but I’m nearly sure it was more like half an hour or something. Looks like we’d have a lot of editing to do. “Alright and for the final question…” I put my phone down, thinking of quite a good one on my own. Except this question wasn’t for him to answer about me. “If you could go back in time, and tell me and or yourself anything, what would it be?” I asked, my voice going quiet hoping nothing too bad would result due to this question.

 

He sighs, preparing what I figured was a long rant and then stared directly the camera. “Phil, or me, or whatever... It’s okay. Everything will be fine, we’re happy in the future, you’re happy. I can’t tell you much because this entire video is probably causing some stupid time paradox as we know it anyways, but I can inform you that you are the happiest human on earth. You’re happy, you’re BOTH happy and even if it seems like you should just give up don’t, because you love him and he’s really worth it,” I could tell he was looking at me through the viewfinder and he shot the camera(or maybe it was to me) the brightest smile I’ve seen since I’ve been here. “ Trust me, he is. As for Dan, you can never see this, I know, but you are literally the best thing that has happened to me in life. Yes, you are being quite hard headed at the moment your Phil may be watching this but I know you still care and that you’ll never leave me. I love you so SO much Dan, but you can’t hear it from past me, so Phil, don’t let him watch this. Don’t let him hear that you love him and will be there for him through thick and thin from me, let him hear it from you.” His voice was hushed, and his eyes sparkled at the camera and this is when I couldn’t handle it anymore.

 

I push Phil down on the bed and hover above him kissing him passionately. I look at the camera, my expression uninterested in this video and I was in a hurry to get back to Phil. “Past Dan, you’re being an ass. Stop, and tell him you love him cause spoiler; you are gay as fuck whether its for Phil or not.” I said then leaned my head back down and lock my lips with Phil’s. I feel his fingers entwine into my brunette hair and his other hand moving up and down my back. 

 

“Dan,” Phil broke from the kiss and I try and kiss him again but he pushes me back up. “Dan, the camera. It’s still on.” He says, looking over at the camera that was in fact catching all of this on camera.

 

“Fuck,” I quickly get up and stop the recording. “Wow, never thought I’d end up videotaping the start of a make out session.” I say with a small laugh. I then look down at Phil and walk back onto the bed, getting back into position, straddling the older one and starting off with a slow kiss. His lips were soft against mine, just like they always were and a part of me didn’t want this to end, I meant this month. It was all so weird, like a movie. I got to fall in love with Phil all over again and at the moment I was being controlled by thoughts. I turned the kiss into a rough, passionate one and eventually slipped my tongue into the mix. Phil continued combing his fingers through my hair and rubbing up and down my back underneath of my shirt.

 

“Hey… Hey Dan,” He mumbles as he lets go of the kiss and I decided to just start kissing on his neck, sucking on his certain sensitive spots that I’d had memorized after knowing him after 7 years. I hum a soft ‘hmm?’ continuing my work and not wanting to stop until I finished. “We… we should just get this video edited quickly because we don’t know when you could be going home.” He says, holding back a small gasp and instead letting out a sad sigh.

 

I stop kissing at his neck and frown. “But Phiilll. Can’t we just do this real quick? I mean, just a quick make out session, and then we can edit the video.” I suggest, sitting up and relaxing on Phil’s lower abdomen, close to his hips. I didn’t want to admit it but my eyes were full of want and I couldn’t tell you why. Probably because at this moment I just adored Phil more than anything in the world and I wanted to prove that to him.

 

He pushes me off. “No Daniel,” He pauses, his eye lingering up and down my body, practically eye fucking me in a mere few seconds. “The longer we discuss it, the less a chance we’ll get to do anything.” He stands up takes the camera and heads to where the desktop was and I follow him, pouting as he sat down at the desk chair and I pull one up beside him.

 

“You’re so mean, you know that?” I complain as Phil starts setting up the editing program and everything on the computer.

 

A small grin pulls at his lips. “Yes, I am well aware I am mean because I have stopped you from kissing me and bathing my neck in kisses. Because you are TOTALLY the one who was getting all the pleasure just a few moments ago,” He says, choosing to unplug the headphones so we could both hear the audio and edit it together. “Plus, I am absolutely LOVING finally seeing you flustered or whatever. For once it’s not me looking bewildered… It’s adorable.” He add the last part glancing over at me and shooting me a warm smile.

 

I smile back then nuzzle up against him as much as our chairs allowed us to as we sat there and edited the video that would quite literally change time, whether it influenced it a lot or a little.

 

“Alright, that’s it. The video is finally edited, now how do we make sure past me will get to see it?” Phil asks, causing my eyes to open and sitting up just a little more at the sound of finally being finished.

 

I yawn, parting from Phil’s touch and stretching. “I would say the safest way would be to email it to him, or you. That way there is no way for it to get onto youtube unless past you really uploads it and you will get it as soon as you check your email which is usually daily,” I suggest, standing up. “Now I don’t know about you, but I’m starving. Plus surprisingly it’s only like 8:30 and we have yet to eat dinner. Chinese take out alright by you?”

 

He shrugs. “Sure, you know what I like. I’ll be out in a moment, just let me email this to myself and everything.” He says, although his voice sounded a bit distant, as if he had one more thing to do that he chose not to address to me.

 

I choose to not question him and only shrug. “Alright, I’ll let you know when it gets here if you still aren’t out by then.” 

 

An hour past and then food had recently arrived and long and behold Phil had yet to come out of the room with the computer. He was suppose to be sending and email, so there was no way it could take him an HOUR to do that. I sigh, placing the food on the table then walking into my room and knock on the door. “Hey Phil, foods here. Everything alright, how long does it take to send an email to yourself?”I say, with an awkward laugh at the end of my question.

 

There’s a long pause and I’m about to knock and repeat myself but the door swings open and I jump back in surprise. “I’m good now. Sorry I was just,” He pauses. It was quick and if I hadn’t paid much attention I wouldn’t have seen it, but it was there.” Checking things y’know? I mean, I was already at a computer and so I figured why not check stuff?”

  
I think about questioning him since I’ve let him off the hook the entirety of my stay but I decide instigating him would only make a small argument start up. “Oookayyy then. C’mon then, the foods out on the table.” We head into the lounge and we casually make small talk as we always do but there’s so many thoughts going through my head of what exactly he was doing on that computer. Was he really just checking things? of course he wasn’t it looked like he was hiding something. Whatever it was it probably isn’t any of my concern anyways so I should just drop. Sadly, my mind hates me and the options of what Phil had been doing runs through my head the entire night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Side Note: If it wasn't obvious I was going to make this a smut chapter but decided against itl. For thos of you who do want smut though don't worry, there will be some in a future chapter. No promises that it's amazing or anything.


	12. All About Us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here have some semi-fluffy cute stuff for your leap year!

(Listen to the song they dance to [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JnLE_2txSIA) if would like to!)

2012!Dan-

I sigh, starting the next episode of season 2 of American Horror story that had yet to be released in my time. It had been four days since I’ve talked to Phil about what happened in 2012 but I was still stuck here. I don’t understand why, but I’m pretty sure Phil was right about just having to wait until whatever sent me here sends me back. I just hoped it was soon. It wasn’t that I didn’t like this Phil or 2016 it was just that I wanted to go home and make things right. That way me and _**my**_ Phil can be happy and I can make things better for everyone.

I look over at the clock and see that it’s 9:30 and soon hear footsteps and assume it’s Phil arriving back from the store. After a few minutes I hear him come into the lounge. “Hey, what’s up? I see you’ve discovered the second season of AHS that has yet to come out in your time.” He asks me as I sit up and allow him to sit next to me.

“Yeah, but I’ve been super bored while you were gone. Is there anything interesting to do at 9:30 when you’re stuck at home?” I ask, throwing my head back, letting a smile escape as I look over at him.

We’d been acting a lot more close I suppose you could say. We would hold hands on occasions but we pretty much just shot each other heart eyes rather than showing any physical affection. He stands up and holds his hand out for me. “Well, I’ve got something for you since you’ve pretty much been through hell and back this month or so,” He leads me into the kitchen and opens the fridge to show me he had bought a bottle of champagne. “I figured we could just drink it and like watch movies on Netflix or listen to music or something.” He suggests taking out the bottle and getting out wine glasses for the two of us.

I walk up beside him as he pours the champagne into the glasses. “Yeah, that sounds like it’ll be a lot of fun. But champagne huh? Seems a bit fancy for just watching movies and listening to music don’t you think?” I ask raising my eyebrows suggestively and laughing lightly at my own remark.

“Ha yeah, I mean I didn’t want you getting really drunk or anything so I felt like champagne will at the most make you tipsy or buzzed depending on how much you drink.” He says handing me a glass and walking into the lounge. “So, what’ll it be. Music or a movie?”

I sit down on the sofa, taking a sip of my drink. “Let’s go for a movie first and then we can work on the music and stuff after. How’s that sound?” I ask, following him with my gaze as he sits beside me, closer than my Phil usually did. But I didn’t protest, I liked the closeness and the warmth I felt coming from him. We picked out a movie together and sat there for about an hour, on occasion getting up to refill our glasses but always going back to the other on the couch to resume our positions and watch the movie, only occasionally commentating on what was going on during the film.

“Ahem. Hey Dan, the movies over. You awake?” Phil asks in a hushed voice, glancing down at me where I was currently nuzzled into Phil’s chest, my eyes only slightly opened. Of course I blamed it on the three small glasses of champagne I had but in all honesty I just wanted to feel the warmth of him more than when we were only close to each other.

“Yeah,” I say softly, opening my eyes fully but not moving from his chest. “So… Music and talking, yeah?” I say, now getting off of him knowing he’d have to get up to turn Spotify on.

“Sure, unless you want to go to sleep…?” He asks, still getting up and heading for his MacBook and opening Spotify, already predicting my answer.

“No, I’m fine. Just go ahead and start the music. Hell, you can even start talking since for once my mind is drawing blanks.” I say as he turns on the radio and sits back down next to me. He turns his body toward me and crosses his legs, smiling over at me as if I had just said the nicest thing in the world to him.

“Well, I don’t know what to talk about either really. Erm, how about… We just kind of talk about each other but none of this drama or romance stuff. We need a break from that so let’s avoid those topics. Sound alright?”

“Yeah,” I answer simply, leaning my shoulders on the armrest of the sofa. I choose to start talking seeing that my mind had thought up a few questions while listening to the older boy speak. “So like, the future seems pretty awesome. But how’s YouTube working for you and uh, me I guess?” I ask him tapping my finger on the arm of the sofa to the beat of the song that was playing in the background.

“It’s great really, both of our channels are. We have a gaming channel too, started it last year and we have roughly 1.9 million subscribers. I mean, if we combine both our channels along with the gaming one we’ve got around 10.8 million subscribers. YouTube seems to be going amazing for both of us. Plus the phandom is still so nice and supportive, as they usually are.” He says, smiling.

“A gaming channel? Awesome,” I pause looking around the room awkwardly. “Hey, so. Me and you, do we ever get into a big fight like that again? I- I know you asked not to talk about our relationship or us or anything but I’m just curious, y’know.” I ask chugging down the rest of the champagne in my glass and looking over at him awaiting an answer.

“No, thankfully we haven’t. We’ve gotten into what I would call small arguments but never a full on fight like that. You’ve promised me that you’d never let a fight like that happen again and I promised the same thing. So far that promise has been kept,” Before I reply the music changes to a softer tone than the last one and we both quickly realize it’s a slow song. To this Phil quickly stands up and starts to head towards the computer to change it some how. “Sorry.” he mumbles.

I stand up and grab his wrist to stop him and step close to him. “No, it’s fine. You um–” I look forward to see my eyes were quickly met with blue ones that were a mix between nervous, unsure, and if I wasn’t mistaken a hint of love. My face turns completely red yet I can’t help but look away. “You don’t have to turn it off. It’s only a song..” I finished, my voice sounding both soft and sweet. I don’t know why I don’t pull away or even stay where I am, instead I step closer, our noses just barely scraping against one another's. I can tell Phil’s surprised by my actions as I hear his breath hitch slightly as our skin lightly touches one another's .

_‘Would you let me lead? You can step on my feet_

_Give it a try, it’ll be alright_

_The room’s hush hush and now’s **our moment.**_

_Take it in, feel it all and **hold it**_

_Eyes on **you** , eyes on **me.**_

_We’re doing this right’_

I wrap my arms around his neck and feel him wrap his arm around my torso. “Are you alright with this?” He asks softly, all nervousness lost from his eyes, the emotion of being unsure still slightly there but quickly being replaced by love.

_'Cause lovers dance when they’re feeling **in love** ‘_

I nod, and the next thing I know we’re slow dancing. It was more like just walking in a circle since we seem to both be shit at dancing but of course that’s the least of our focuses. “If I weren’t alright with it I wouldn’t have done it. Thank you for letting me do this.” My voice continues it’s soft and sweet tone and I lay my head into his neck despite being only slightly taller than him which I still haven’t gotten used to even after a month.

“Thank you for actually doing this,” His chest rises quickly as a small laugh escapes from his lips. “I really thought you’d end up avoiding me again after finding out about us. I never expected you to be cuddling or even shooting me heart eyes. Let alone having your arms around me, your head laying down on my chest and… at least attempting to slow dance with me. Hehe.” He smiles warmly, glancing down at me.

I lift my head up and look into his eyes yet again, my eyes pretty much speaking for me. Confessing to him every feeling I’ve ever felt and how much I’ve always wanted this. “Phil…” My voice is distance as my face slowly comes closer to his…

_‘Suddenly **I’m feeling brave**_

_Don’t know what’s got into me_

_Why I **feel this** **way** ’_

I’m scared he’ll pull away but he didn’t. My lips hit his and we smiled into the kiss, the music cheering us on. I hadn’t felt this for almost a year. I missed it. I missed _**him**_. I wanted to feel hands wrapped around me, kissing me softly, lovingly, while listening to music and dancing so stupid but we don’t mind because I’m intoxicated to the point I don’t care but sober enough to know what I’m doing is what I want and he’s just doing it because he loves watching me smile, and how happy I am in his warm embrace. I wanted to feel Phil doing this, _**my**_ Phil doing this. I wanted this for the past us, but as of now something’s telling me the past is the past at the moment, so enjoy the future, or er, present I suppose.

I pull back from the kiss and receive a large smile from Phil. “You sure you were alright with _**that**_?” He asks, holding back a laugh.

I nod, lightly rubbing my thumb on the tip of Phil’s back where my hands laid. “Phil, how did I do it?” I mumbled lightly, ignoring his question. Our feet continued to move although I think by now we were moving without thought.

He seems a bit surprised at the random question but answers none the less. “How did you do what?”

“How did I work up the courage to tell you I was sorry, and that I loved you no matter what?” By now my eyes would be tearing up but for some reason the tears wouldn’t come, but I was definitely not complaining. I’d been crying too much lately.

He sighs, rubbing his hand up my back slightly, “I can’t answer that. I’m not you. But whatever you did to get the courage to do so, you’ll be able to find it again. You’re proving to me now that you love me, and you’re from 2012.” He lifts my chin up slightly, shooting me a warm smile.

_‘Every heart in the room will melt_

**_This is a feeling I’ve never felt_ **

_But it’s **all about** **us** ’_

“Thank you for being here for me. I’m sorry for how I acted back then and at the beginning of this crazy ass month. I’m sure with everything about us Phil, and I promise when I get back to 2012 I will make you the happiest person ever. I never meant to go off on you like that-”  I was going to continue, probably go on a huge rant that resulted in tears as it always did but he interrupted me. Not with a kiss, god how cheesy that would be, but just by the look he shot me.

It made me freeze. It’s like he had told me very little thing he liked about me and forgave me for every dumb mistake I’ve ever made, which was a lot, It’s only until after the song ended that one of us spoke. “It’s nearly 12:30. Maybe we should head to bed now?” Phil suggests, although both of us not appearing to remove from the other, we had stopped dancing, or walking in circles, and we were now just locked in each other’s embrace.

“Ha, bed already? Way to ruin the romantic atmosphere Phil,” I say jokingly, continuing to stare into his eyes. “Maybe we could just turn on one more movie? Then we can sleep, please?” I shot him the best puppy dog eyes I could and he smiles.

“Alright, we can do that. I’m gonna go put the leftover champagne away and you can pick the movie while I’m gone, sound alright?” He says, letting go of me and grabbing the champagne bottle from the table. There wasn’t much left but neither of us wanted to drink it. He also stops the radio before walking out the room and into the kitchen, not waiting for my response.

I have the dumbest smile on my face while just picking some random movie that I didn’t really care to pay attention to knowing I’d probably end up falling asleep anyways. I didn’t want the night to end though, it was perfect and I didn’t want to have to retreat to my bed alone just yet.

We spent the rest of the night on the sofa, curled up together and watching the movie. Or more like sleeping through it after the first ten minutes of it. I sighed happily just before nuzzling my head into Phil’s neck, his arm around my waist, and closing my eyes. I couldn’t believe that just like that we were curled up together and falling asleep. Just a month ago I didn’t want to be anywhere near Phil, I was scared and wanted to be alone. Funny how I went from that to slow dancing with a 2016 Phil and kissing him, ending the night in his arms. I think about my Phil in 2012, wondering what he and 2016 Dan may have been up to the past month. I figured they probably spent it making out or something seeing that 2016 Dan wasn’t as difficult as me and actually expressed his emotions correctly. I shake the image out of my head and only plan what I was going to do when I got back. I was going to apologize, beg him for forgiveness and tell him what was wrong and that I’d never treat him the way I did ever again. I wanted to tell him I loved him, that I’d never abandon him literally or the way I did before. But I had to wait, if I didn’t it could change time right? It hurt knowing that admitting how I really felt could change the Phil I was curled up with now, but I understood that that’s just how it was. The reason I was sent here was to realize I wasn’t alone, to just apologize and realize that I had someone who’d never leave me and I did learn all that. I learned all that and more. I learned that I was in love with Phil Lester and I wasn’t going to let _**anything**_ get in the way of showing him so.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Smutttt  
> *Cringes* I know I said I wouldn't... But I lied. *Explodes*

(Click [here](http://thedorkwholovesphan.tumblr.com/private/140186779367/tumblr_o3afc2c8Na1v0i2at) for the version with no smut.)

2016!Dan-

My eyes open to be greeted by an arm wrapped around my waist while I was nuzzled into the neck of Phil on the sofa. I wouldn’t be as freaked out or happy as I was if it were how it had been the past month but it wasn’t. It was 2016 Phil, _**my**_ Phil. I sit up quickly to see I surprisingly didn’t wake up the older Phil by sitting up. I think about just leaning down and kissing him awake, expressing how much I’ve missed him but decide against it and choose to just look around the flat and make sure I really was back home where I belonged. I get up from the sofa and walk up to who I assumed was Phil’s MacBook and shut it, seeing that Spotify had been pulled up before he had fallen asleep. I think about it for a second and realize the position I had woken up in was the way my past Dan had fallen asleep. I only grin and laugh quietly at my past self. “So that cheeky little shit finally realized he loved him huh?” I mumble to myself and head into my room and sit down at my chair sighing happily. I quickly check my twitter and channel to see everything was up to date. I was back in 2016, where I belonged. I’m about to go back in the lounge and wake up Phil but realize I had an email in my inbox.

I lean in closer to see it said it was sent August 15, 2012. The email was simply labeled “Thank You”. I slip on a pair of my headphones, seeing that there was a video attached to it that was only about three minutes long. The video started out with the Phil I’d just left in 2012 inside my room, staring at the camera and smiling brighter than the sun.

“Hello Daniel. If you’re watching this you either probably didn’t wait to open this until 2016 like I asked you to or you are Dan from 2016. I’m making this video for you as a reminder of what happened, just as we did minutes before together for me. If you don’t remember you appeared here about a month ago, switching spirits or something with my Dan,” He looks around my room, his nervousness beginning to show. “I want to thank you for explaining everything to me and for showing me exactly how much you care and love me, even if the Dan that will soon come back doesn’t act like he does. You’ve made me really happy and when we went on that walk and kissed I honestly thought I was just having the longest dream of my life. I didn’t believe that you actually were still with me at first. I figured you were just lying so I wouldn’t cry or something. But as time went on, you made so many romantic gestures there was no way you could’ve been lying.” Phil sighed, shooting a bittersweet smile at the camera. “But I guess what I’m trying to say is thank you for everything that happened this month and even if I don’t remember any of it I at least want you to know that you’ve made me the happiest person on earth this month and everytime I look at you. Whether it’s the Dan in my time or you. I’d say I’m going to miss you but, I’ll still have you even when you leave, haha. But um, goodbye 2016 Dan.” He does the heart hands and I roll my eyes laughing at it along with his large smile he’s just shot the camera. “I love you and my Dan, I always will.” And then the video ended.

I smiled and leaned back in my chair. So that’s what he was doing in my room. Recording and editing that video. I laugh lightly recalling everything we did that month and smile remembering every time Phil’s eyes lit up at the sight of just seeing me happy because of him. I star the video in my email and close all my tabs. I then get up and head back into the lounge and see Phil is still sound asleep on the sofa. I sit down beside him and nudge him lightly on the shoulder. When I see his eyes open I shoot him a large smile. “Morning sleepy head. It’s so good to see you after like what, a month or something?” I say with a laugh, hoping that he would remember what had happened.

Surely enough Phil shoots up and embraces me in hug. “Oh my god Dan, it’s you? Like, my Dan. You’re _**my**_ Dan?” His voice is full of excitement and happiness and disbelief and I can’t help but let out a small laugh at how happy he seemed.

“Haha, yeah that’ll be me. I’m your awkward Dan that’s known you for seven years now. Did ya really miss me that much?” I ask, breaking from the hug and looking over at him. I scan over his facial features and make sure that this was my Phil, my 2016 Phil. It was him, after a month and a few weeks I was finally staring into the eyes of the Phil I’d experienced so many new memories with. I’m quickly submerged in emotions and my eyes end up tearing up and I kiss him passionately on the lips, melting into his arms and enjoying the feeling of him pressed against me.

“It’s seems like you sure missed me.” He mumbles with a small laugh before kissing me again and pushing me back against the sofa and straddling me.

“Haha, wow. Are we really gonna do this now?” I say, not going far from the kiss.

He looks down into my chestnut eyes. “I mean, why not? You just got here, what a perfect way to celebrate, yeah?” He’s smiling and looking over my body up and down.

I roll my eyes playfully. “Alright lover boy, I guess you’re right. Now stop eye fucking me and kiss me already.” We continue the kiss and Phil soon trails the kiss down from my lips and onto my neck. He leads his lips down to my collarbone and I let out a small whine and tilt my head back as he leaves a mark.

I comb my fingers through his hair, enjoying the feel of soft lips against my skin. “Phil, let’s take this to my room, yeah?” I mumble nearly regretting my words. I didn’t want him to remove his lips from anywhere on my body. Whether it be my lips or my bare skin.

“Mm, yeah that sounds like a good idea.” He gets up from my lap and quickly takes my hand and pulls me into my room. He wraps his arms around my neck and quickly resumes the kiss. This one being full of mainly want and need but I still kiss back. Phil shuts the door and pushes me back onto the edge of my bed and resumes straddling me yet again. He pulls at my shirt and I lift my hands up so he can remove it, breaking from the kiss temporarily. He pushes me down, and leans down continuing the kiss yet again and I let out a small laugh failing to not interrupt his soft lips pressed hard against mine. He parts from the kiss, biting my bottom lip before staring into my brown eyes full of want and now a hint of amusement. “Wh- what are you laughing at?” He asks, a small smile pulling at his lips but his eyes drowning in confusion.

“Haha, it’s er nothing. I just haven’t seen you so eager to kiss me in so long.” I say quietly, deciding to get lost in his blue orbs that always made me melt at their beauty.

Sadly that wasn’t exactly true. I’d seen him like this just a few weeks ago. He had his hand wrapped around mine running home eagerly and then quickly closing the door to the flat and dragging me up the stairs into the lounge and pushing me against the couch, locking his lips against mine passionately yet it was still begging for want and need. The only thing was that was a different Phil I saw just a few weeks ago like that, and technically it was nearly four years ago. I quickly dismiss the thought of that Phil pressed against me and focus on the one that was staring down at me, figuring out his next few moves as to what he was going to do with me.

Phil shoots me a devious grin at my comment. “You haven’t huh? I apologize, would you like me to go a bit more slow?” I could tell he was going to continue but before he does he leans down slowly as if he were about to kiss me and I lean up to accept it just when he pulls away, a large grin smeared on his face. “Should I just stop kissing you altogether?” He brings his head to the nick of my neck and speaks more, his lips just barely brushing against my skin. “Stop kissing you _**everywhere**_.”

I squirm at his warm breath against my sensitive spot, silently begging for him to just start kissing me already. “N-no,” My voice cracks as I continue to feel heat against my neck and soft lips just barely touching it. “That is not what I want.” I answered simply. Although this felt like torture I always loved when Phil got this way. I found it hot how he loved to mess with me, trying to show dominance by fucking around with my want for him. It was a side no one saw. A side that was reserved for only one person in this world; me.

“Mm, ya sure about that? Maybe I should just have my fun with you in other ways. Like this.” He’s looking me in the eyes now, his blue pools now full of deviance and fuck, how hot I thought he was right now. He then lowers his hips down, grinding his crotch against my jeans, that were getting tighter by the minute.

“Fucking hell Phil.” My eyes shoot close as I let out a quiet moan at the friction between us and more blood starts to rush down to my hips. I open my eyes and before getting caught back in a trance of beautiful blue I lean up in an attempt to kiss him but Phil jerks his head up. “Dammit Phil kiss me already.” I let out to my surprise. It wasn’t planned for me to beg since I always loved playing the “who will end up cracking first” game with him so when the words slipped out of my mouth I was a bit taken aback.

Phil let’s out a small laugh that sounded devious yet there was a hint of sweetness to it, just as there always was when he was like this. “Well, if you insist.” He bends down and locks his lips with mine, this time it was more soft and passionate, full of little want or need and more with love. Phil nibbles lightly on my bottom lip and I let his tongue in while working at his button up shirt. I hold back a laugh as I think about how he always seems to have on button up t-shirts when we’re in a situation like this and note to inform him to try not to or take his shirt off prematurely; yeah, that second option sounds promising.

Phil lifts up each individual arm so I can slip off his shirt after finally getting every button undone and I throw it down somewhere onto the floor of my bedroom. He is soon kissing down my neck, sucking on every sensitive spot he’s figured out over the past seven years while leaving soft and sweet kisses down my chest, and then my torso until he reaches my jeans that I had yet to be stripped from. He’s quickly working at my button and zipper and in record time he has them undone and is pulling my pants down and I help by kicking them off my ankles, my boxers being the only thing that is restricting my cock from the tug of air… and from Phil.

He lets out another small laugh, this one a bit more quiet than the last one. He then brings his mouth to my inner thigh and begins kissing softly up to the edge of my boxers. He starts to suck and even nip at the area and I let out a loud moan of pleasure, my member fully erect and begging to be noticed. “Oh fuck.” I muttered as he continues sucking on my inner thigh for longer than expected and then kissing it softly as if he were adding a final touch to his master piece.

“Let’s hope you enjoy that when you wake up later,” Phil mutters with yet again another laugh. “Now let’s get to it, yeah?” His voice is quiet  as he brings his face back up to mine and kisses me softly, allowing me to pull off his jeans halfway as he finished pulling them off completely without breaking the kiss. I lean up some, allowing him to pull down my last piece of fabric left on me without breaking the kiss. There’s a long moment of just kissing and making out until Phil breaks it and is looking down at me, the want and need returning to his eyes. “You have some in here right?” He asks and I nod at his question.

“It’s in the drawer of my nightstand.” I mumble as he gets off of me and I shiver a bit as the cold air quickly hits my bare skin.

The biting cold air isn’t there for long since Phil is back on the bed quickly, his own boxers already removed by himself, a small bottle of lube in his hand. He’s looking over at me expectantly and I quickly bring my legs up, giving him easier access to my arse.

I’m moaning and whimpering loudly at the feel of Phil’s fingers inside me and after a few moments he finds my prostate. “Fucking hell Phil.” I moaned loudly and he grins, seeing that he’s found the spot. After a moment of continuing to pleasure me with his fingers, a third one being added into the mix, he takes them out and pours lube onto his hands, rubbing them together before bringing them to his member and rubbing the lube onto it. Without command he’s scooting closer and I remove my hands from my thighs, Phil’s hands replacing mine. I feel the tip of his cock just barely touching my entrance and I let out a pleasured sigh as I feel him slowly enter me. He pulls out partially and continues this slow pace for a few moments until I feel him ram into me and I let out a loud moan as he just so happened to hit the spot. “That’s it, right there.” I managed to whimper before he’s thrusting his hips against me and pulling and pushing in and out of me as I let out moan after moan after every thrust that varies from fast to slow and from soft to rough.

Phil’s leaning down, continuing his motion all while kissing me on the lips softly and then moving down back to my neck and then onto my collar bone. “Dan, I- I’m getting cl- _close._ ” Phil whimpers, his thrusts becoming more frantic yet at the same time it was still as if he had it under control, still managing to hit the spot. I only nod in response and bring my hand to my own member and begin pumping it up and down.

The room is quickly overtaken by pleasured moans and sighs both by my and the raven haired boy currently inside of me and still managing to nip at my neck. “Dan,” He stops kissing quickly, his breathing heavy and his thrusts becoming faster. “Shit, _**Dan**_.” He moans out as he comes to a stop and is cumming inside of me.

I’m letting out a moan as I continue pumping my member and soon join Phil, cumming onto his torso, my eyes tightly shut in pleasure. “Fucking hell, _**Phil**_.”

Within minutes Phil pulls himself out of me and flops down beside me and we let out a sigh in unison out of both exhaustion and satisfaction. I turn to him and entangle our legs together as I scoot closer to him. I peck him on the nose and nuzzle up against him. “I’ve missed you so much. I love you so much.” I muttered into his bare chest and I can just feel the large smile appearing on the older man’s face as it bore into my skin.

Phil’s fingers curl into my hair, twirling a few of the short strands of brown in his fingers. “I’ve missed you more than anything in the world,” He kisses the top of my head and then speaks, his voice a bit muffled due to his face slightly being pressed into my brunette hair. “And I love you more than anything in the world too.”

—–

I press my face into what I thought would be warm skin but am surprised to feel one of my pillows. I open my eyes to see there was no body in front of me and I was hugging my black and gray duvet. The smell of eggs and bacon fills the air and I figure that would be where my Phil had gone. I get up and throw on some pajama pants and before leaving for the kitchen a small piece of paper on top of my desk catches my eye. I pick it up and unfold it to see a random number with a heart beside it written on it. I can’t help but let out a confused laugh and head into the kitchen to be greeted by a shirtless Phil wearing the “Gourmet Geek” apron. I roll my eyes playfully and prop myself on the kitchen counter. “Why the hell are you wearing an apron when you’re  just making eggs and bacon?” I ask, watching his hands work at the eggs, scrambling them.

“I don’t know, maybe some grease would like splash or something?” He suggests, glancing over at me and smiling.

“Yeah, a shirt might help a bit more with that one ya fork.” I say laughing at him and nudging his shoulder lightly.

Phil laughs shaking his head and resuming his focus on the breakfast, or more like brunch since it was nearing noon. “What’s with you calling me a fork? Do I look like an eating utensil to you?”

I shrug.” I don’t know. Maybe if you spiked your hair a bit-”

“Haha, shut up.” He nudges me lightly before letting me finish.

“Sorry, sorry. I had to,” I look down at the small receipt paper in my hands. “Oh! Hey Phil, why did I find a piece of paper with someone’s number on it and a heart drawn beside it on my desk?”

“Oh, that? Well 2012 Dan got a girls number when we went out for coffee. It’s a long story. This month and few weeks have been pretty crazy, y’know?”

“Wow, what a cheeky thing I am. How dumb I was to actually think I wasn’t in love with the dork I’d been living with for years.” I say looking straight over at Phil, smiling and tearing up the paper and throwing it onto the ground.

He glances up at me and returns the smile. “Thanks Danny boy,” He chuckles at the nickname, knowing it got on my nerves. “Now I suppose I’ll be the one cleaning that up later huh?”

I chuckle, jumping down from the counter and picking up the small pieces of torn up paper and throwing it into the trash can. “Not this time cause I love you,” I kiss him on the cheek lightly. “But probably next time, and the time after that.” I joke and rest my head on his shoulder as he’s watching the bacon and eggs cook. I’m kissing at the back of his neck softly. “Y’know I will love you no matter what time period I’m in, right?”

Phil smiles at the question and rolls his eyes, a laugh accompanying it. “Of course, and I will love you no matter what time period as well… Always.” The last word echoes in the air for a while. It brought a thought to my mind. The thought of how right Phil was. Even when I was an asshole in 2012 Phil still loved me. Even when I was having an existential crisis or a break down, Phil was still there, promising me he was there and would love me forever. Phil was right. He would always love me in anytime period. Phil would always love me anywhere and everywhere. Phil would just always love me in general. I smile, pressing a soft and thoughtful kiss to back of Phil’s neck appreciating every moment he has always been with me and put up with me, and _**loved**_ me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this weekly update! Next week I will be the very last update so look forward to that. I'll see you next week then, bye!


	14. Always on My Mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! So here we are, the final up date of this fic. I really hope you've enjoyed this so far becauseI really did love writing every chapter. I will be talking more about things at the end of the epilouge so for now I hope you enjoy and you'll be hearing from me after reading these final chapters : )!

2012!Dan-

 

I shoot up in shock, and out of breath. I look around my room frantically and everything was gone. All the cute knick knacks from the ending of 2012 up to 2016, they were all gone. I look over at the clock which read it was 1:30 in the morning. I’m confused yet at the same time beginning to get an idea of what has happened, and there’s a pit in my stomach partially because I’m scared where I’ve ended up. I rush to my phone and unlock it and my eyes freeze, caught on the date. It was July 28, 2012. The exact date and time I had left. I’m overrun by emotions, holding back tears that were starting to form on the edge of my eye lids. I get up from my bed quickly, about to rush to Phil for support or something but I quickly freeze coming to the realization that this was where we left off the night of the argument.

 

It was then I realized the only three sounds around me was the quiet ticking of the clock, my uneasy breaths and the oh so quiet sobbing coming from next door. I clench my fist to the point my knuckles feel white and have the urge to punch a wall. The sobbing only becomes more vivid due to the fact I specifically choose to ignore every other sound. I’m stood in the middle of my bedroom seeming frozen to the ground for the longest time until I take a few deep breaths and finally unclench my fists that now felt like were on fire due to my nails digging into my palms. “Calm down, you can make this better… You have realized who you are now, what you are.” I mumble to myself and head over to Phil’s bedroom door.

 

The crying had stopped so Phil was either asleep or didn’t have enough energy to keep crying anymore. My hand hovers beside Phil’s bedroom door and for a moment I’m not sure about this. I didn’t know if I was doing the right thing. One small slip up and our future could change completely. “Fuck it,” I mumbled to myself and knock on the door lightly, not wanting to startle the older boy on the other side of the door. “Phil… Phil can I come in please.” I muttered and only hear sniffling in response and I assume this was his way of ignoring me. I let out a sigh of defeat and make a quick decision to bring my hand to the door handle. “Phil, I know you probably want to kill me right now but.. I- I’m coming in.” I say, my voice sounding hesitant yet desperate.

 

I open the door and I’m greeted by a Phil wrapped up in his duvet, his knees pulled up to his chest and his face buried into his lap, refusing to let me see his distressed appearance. I hold back the urge to yet again blow up at myself for causing all of this and rush to the bed, sitting beside Phil. I avoid any contact at the moment since I figure I’m the last person he wants to have touch him right now and only stare over at him, studying his terrified and hurt position he had been in for god knows how long. “Phil I- I,” I freeze literally having no clue what to say. An I’m sorry would be terrible, seeing that showed I actually expected forgiveness out of this. 

 

“I’m a terrible person. I should’ve never let it get so out of control like this. I should never have acted so cold towards you and acting as if I hated you. Because I don’t hate you Phil. I don’t. In fact you are literally the last person on earth I could hate because you’ve made me so happy for so damn long,” I’m still studying Phil carefully, checking to see if I would get any reaction from him. His body remained as still as a corpse, the only thing that guaranteed he was alive being his shallow breathing that was barely audible. “This isn’t your fault Phil. None of this is your fault, it’s mine. All of it is. The truth is I’m scared, I’m running from the truth or trying to find it still, I don’t know. I guess what I’m saying is I’m scared because I’m not ready to share what we have with the world yet. I’m not ready to share the stolen glances, or the midnight cuddles or the quiet ‘I love yous’ into one another's ears. I just feel pressured now that there is supposedly proof that all of that is true, that it’s all not our own, it’s all for everyone to see.” I notice him shuffle under the blanket and catch his tearful gaze fall on me. I hold back any remaining tears I had. It was time for me to suck it up and tell the truth. Phil had been here for me every time I was a wreck, now it was time for me to return the favor.

 

“I didn’t want those things to be ruined because we get comments of people now requesting us to do cute couple things rather than us doing it under our own will. Those things are special to me Phil, just like you are,” I let out a sigh and stare down at the floor blankly. “And I’m also confused as to what I am. I don’t know if I’m gay, or bisexual, or what. I’m so confused about labels Phil it’s not even funny. I’m tired of everything needing a label y’know. My sexuality, our relationship, I feel pressured to tell everyone what those labels are and I- I just wasn’t ready. I’m just… I’m still not ready honestly. So, that’s why I’ve been so distant lately. I wanted to figure this out on my own, you weren’t the one who was confused shitless so I didn’t want you to worry about it. God I am so stupid.” I finish and look back over to see he had lifted his head up and gotten out of his blanket made cocoon.

 

There’s silence, and then we’re staring at each other as if I had just confessed my undying love for him. I send him an unsure glance with a reassuring smile and a shrug, allowing him to make the next move. Phil didn’t make a huge gesture of forgiveness like he normally would. He didn’t trample hug me, or kiss me or even take my hand in his. He only scoots closer to me, where our knees are only lightly touching. “Dan, you are an idiot,” He lets out a weak laugh, tear marks and red eyes making it seem as if he were still crying and would pass out from exhaustion any second now. “But it’s okay, because I’m glad you finally told me. You are literally the worst for just not coming and talking to me about it but that doesn’t matter, cause we’re past that now.” He answers simply and after a long pause I feel  his head fall onto my shoulder and I allow him to scoot closer into me by wrapping my arm around his waist and he brings the blanket over both our shoulders.

 

“So,” I sigh into his jet black hair. “What now?” I ask simply, still confused by everything. Or at least appearing to since I’ve come to the realization I have to keep to the script at least a small bit or else god knows how the future would change.

 

“I don’t know Dan. But right now I just want to stay here in your arms and sleep, can I at least do that before we get to the real decisions?”

 

I smile lightly at his reply and nuzzle my face into his wild black hair slightly and nod. “Yeah, that’s fine. 100% fine.” I say softly, already hearing the quiet and calm breaths of a Phil drifting to sleep.

 

We never settled it immediately. That’s why small fights between each other continued but never resulted in full on arguments. It took me until the end of the year to finally accept myself despite learning my lesson in 2016. It happened exactly as I had remembered it and after that I never once yelled at Phil or gave him the cold shoulder. He was always the first thing I thought about when I woke up, and he wouldn’t leave my mind whether we were together for the day or not. 2012 wasn’t the best year for us sure, but it brought me the best feeling in the world.

 

Around the beginning of 2013, shortly after new years, I took a sheet of notebook paper out one night and just started to write:

 

_ Dear Future Me(Daniel), _

 

_ I thought that I knew what true love felt like, how it was literally so amazing it would make anyone jealous or sick. That even at the darkest of times you’d still love the person that you were sure was your soulmate. I thought that’s what true love was and that was how it felt. But 2012 taught me that some feelings can’t be felt until you’ve experienced the exact opposite of that emotion. I had felt literally like I was dying, it felt worse than that. Everytime I saw the hurt gaze in Phil’s beautiful blue orbs it felt like I’d been thrown into the forest, covered by spiders, possessed by a demon and buried six feet under alive. Like my worst nightmares and fears had come true. But it took that terrible,  _ **_terrible_ ** _ feeling that people rarely feel to finally realize what true love felt like, and that I had found it with a huge adorable ray of sunshine that is the biggest dork I know. _

 

_ If this letter, note, or whatever the hell this is gets found then I have something to tell you. In 2016 me and you switched bodies. Or, I was in 2012 and you were in 2016. Because of that your Phil gave me the best opportunity to realize something. That he was the best thing that had ever happened to me. So if it is 2016 when you’re reading this, or earlier or even later. Just thank you for giving me the chance to visit the future, even though it wasn’t exactly under your control. You need to do me a favor and never  _ **_never_ ** _ leave Phil okay? He has literally been with us through thick and thin and he loves us more than anything in the world, just as we love him like that too. There might be times where you think you don’t deserve him because he treats you so well even when you are an insufferable twat at times but just understand that he  _ **_loves_ ** _ you. _

 

_ Phil is the one thing that will never leave your mind, at least that's how it’s been for nearly a year now. So don’t let him leave it, every moment you spend with him, every laugh you share, all of it. Cherish that and every moment with him because as long as you spend your time together like it’s your last then you and him are in for one hell of a time. _

 

_ Sincerely, _

_       2013 Dan _

 

_ P.S. _

_ If a future Phil is reading this then your Dan and I love you and will never  _ **_ever_ ** _ even  _ **_think_ ** _ about leaving you. We’d die without you with us.  <3! _


	15. Epilogue

 

2012!Phil-

 

_ New Years Eve _

 

“To the new year!” Dan yells out enthusiastically, throwing his arm around me and shooting up his cup of alcohol in his hand.

 

We were at our house but were having a small get together with a few of our friends like Chris, PJ, and Louise. It wasn’t exactly a party but we all treated it like one. We all had had a few drinks and the clock was nearing 12. So far we’d only played a few board games, talked and listened to music, but it was a lot of fun.

 

It had been almost exactly five months since I’d seen the video supposedly me and 2016 Dan made and ever since I saw it it gave me hope. Even throughout 2012 when we got into small fights compared to our big ones I never dwelled on it as much as I would have without knowing what we would have in the future. Then a few weeks ago everything was better, we were happier. We were a couple. We  **are** a couple. Now Dan and I are happy to tell at least our family and close friends and that’s totally fine by me. I saw how happy we were in the video, I saw Dan push me down and kiss me and I knew there was no way it was an act. 

 

“To the new year!” We all cheer in return lifting our drinks up and taking a large sip of our drinks. 

 

After a moment of just mingling and listening to the optimistic music playing in the background I feel a light tap on the shoulder and turn to see it was Dan. “Hey,” He shot me a bright smile, his breath smelling of alcohol. I assumed that he was probably buzzed by now, but then again I was completely unaware of what number of drink he was on. What a terrible boyfriend I was, heh. “Can I talk to you real quick? Like, just in the hall or something?” He asks politely, his eyes latched onto mine.

 

I glance back at Louise who I was currently having a discussion with and shoot her an apologetic glance then look back at the younger boy. “Um… Yeah sure. Just not for too long, I don’t want to leave or guest alone.” I say and he takes my hand and is already heading toward the door of the lounge.

 

“It’s  **_fiiine_ ** .” Pj replies with a grin.

 

“Yeah, just be back before twelve.” Louise adds.

 

“And have fun!” Chris calls just as we’re heading out the door and I hear laughing and a conversation starting at the comment. I roll my eyes at his words but am quickly distracted as Dan stops outside the lounge, in the hall just as he told me.

 

He steps in front of me and doesn’t let go of my hand. Dan lifts my chin up so both ocean eyes met with forest ones. “Hey.” He says softly shooting me a warm smile.

 

I laugh lightly at his single word comment and the cliche position we were in right now. “Hi. Is that all you wanted to tell me?”

 

He takes moment to answer and I assume it's because he was trying to find the exact purpose of this conversation again. After finding it, he continues his smile, laughing slightly. “Haha, no of course not you dork. I wanted to make a promise to you.” He states, taking my other hand, now having both my hands in his.

 

I hold back a playful eyeroll. “Yeah? And what would that promise be?” I ask, continuing to stare into his brown eyes that showed a soft expression as they gazed into mine.

 

“I want to promise you Phil, that this year, and the year after that, and the one after that, and even like fifty years from now. I will still be with you. No matter what happens, or where we go. Whatever the future holds, we’ll be experiencing it together, because I’m never going to leave you alright? Even if you start getting sick of me,” He lets out an awkward laugh, still giving me a genuine stare. “I’m always gonna be by your side. And no matter what happens, I will never  **ever** let anything happen that is even similar to what happened this year alright?” He picks his hand up and carefully pushes my hair out of my eyes. “My new year's resolution is to make you the happiest man on earth to the point you’ll be sick at how cheesy and adorable I am.” He finishes, letting out another laugh, this one was soft and caring.

 

He waits for my reply and I’m dumbfounded by his large promise. I pull him into a tight hug, smiling harder than I ever had before. “You already are so adorable it makes me sick you cheesy spork,” I chuckle at the odd nickname I randomly give him. “I love you Dan, you know that?”

 

He smiles over at me, not parting from our embrace much. “Of course, and I love you too Phil. I always will, and that’s at least one thing I can guarantee I’m not confused about.” He replies and almost in unison we move in and our lips touch. I wrap my arms around his neck and I feel his arms around my torso.

 

“Ahem. Hey love birds,” Pj coughs, interrupting our talk and shooting us a small smirk. “Hate to interrupt, but it's barely a minute until twelve, come in here and countdown with us.”

  
We look over at PJ and then share the same confused gaze toward each other and end up letting out an amused laugh in unison. “Alright, we’re coming.” I reply, letting go of Dan and instead entwining his hand in mine and leading him into the lounge, excited for the new year that isn’t even sixty seconds away now. I smile, ready to face what it’ll shoot at me, as long as I’m facing it with Dan, which by the video and his promise, seems to make my wish pretty promising.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there we go, the story is now officially come to an end. As I said before I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I've enjoyed writing it. I feel like for the first time writing any chaptered Phanfics I didn't do too terrible. If any of you would like to read any of my other writings they're all on my profile and I should be starting a new story on my tumblr soon. If you want to send any phanfic prompts or suggestions then you can go to my tumblr (thedorkwholovesphan.tumblr.com) Other than that I think that's all! Hope you all enjoyed this story and thanks for all the kudos, comments, everything. It all means a lot. Bye guys : )!


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